Posted March 11, 2018 (6023)
Welcome to "Peter's Pages"
The Web Presence of "Peter Lebeck 1866,"
The Kern County Chapter of E Clampus Vitus ®
Escape the Circus, Sign-up for the Fair!
Posted 3.11.18 -- By MGM
So if we are going to the fair, but the fair isn't until September, why are we going in April? Well the short answer is that we were invited by the fair to plaque the fair, and we'd be right fairly pleased to have you join us, Thursday through Sunday, April 12-15th, as we celebrate "Redshirts at the Fair" -- PXL's 57th Annual Spring Doin's!
So as promised, here's the skinny on the fair. The Kern County Agricultural Fair, usually just called the "The Fair," has been going on since 1916. It typically last for 12 days and happens every September. The Kern County Fair and Event Center, which is also often just called "The Fair," was established at its present location in 1956, and comprises 160 acres of event space that includes show rings, exhibit buildings, grandstands and even RV Parking. Events are held at The Fair year round -- everything from concerts to car and livestock shows, and exhibitions of just about any kind you can think of.
When our Humbug, Doc Wallace, discovered that in its entire 102 year history no one had even plaqued the Fair, he called the people at California's "15th District Agricultural Association," which owns, operates and does business as "The Kern County Fair," to see if they would be interested in having us memorialize Fair history. The Fair enthusiastically agreed, and in appreciation the Peter Lebeck Chapter of E Clampus Vitus has been invited by the Fair to the Fair, where we will dedicate a plaque to the Fair on Saturday morning of our Spring Doin's. Capiche?
So won't you join the Brothers of your favorite piss poor bear wrassler, Peter Lebeck, for an extended weekend at the Kern County Fair and Event Center, in Bakersfield? This is one you won't want to miss and access to this one is easy. The fairgrounds are in town. We'll be Clamping on flat ground along a tree lined private access road behind the main grandstand. We'll have the place pretty much to ourselves. The area is grassy, with plenty of room for tents and RVs, and the Fair has agreed to provide optional electricity and water hook-ups for $25 a night. We'll even have free access to showers and flush potties. And while no one is going to let us dig a fire pit in the show ring, burn barrels are allowed, but please, no dogs, retreads or whiney PBCs.
Early arrivals will be welcome starting 12 noon on Thursday, April 12th, but if you come early you'll want to bring enough victuals to tide you over until Friday Dinner, when Peter Lebeck will roll out our famous weekend feedbag. But if you arrive early, don't despair; no one ever gets lonesome at a PXL Clampout. We'll be firing up the big communal grill on Thursday afternoon. Bring some meat and your favorite libation; you'll be joining a manly bull session like no other in Clamperdom. Bring a little extra to share, especially if you have a favorite recipe, and the bull (bear, snake or whatever) is really gonna fly.
Friday afternoon you won't want to miss the Humbug's Meet 'n' Greet at 5:03 PM, at the PXL Tittie Bar, followed by a chicken and barbequed rib dinner at the Cook Shack, prepared by Brother Carlos Lemus and the Spinner Brigade. We'll end the night's fun with an "open mic" -- Clamper Poetry, Redshirt Tales, Karaoke and whatever else tickles your fancy.
Saturday morning you'll want to get up for our Graybeards Potluck Breakfast. We provide the eggs, you bring us your breakfast meat and other goodies, and our Graybeards and newbie cook crew will whip it up into something yummy. For lunch expect Clampshef Airdale Miller's slow-clamped pulled pork sandwiches, while for dinner you get your choice of ribeye steak or barbequed chicken with all the fixin's.
So what will this cost you, you ask? Well if you get your rub in to us by April 6th, it's $65 for Redshirts and $75 for PBCs. While you can still pay at the gate it's $15 more if you miss the deadline. Remember, Peter Lebeck does not provide alcohol, but at this price you can't go wrong. The Humbug has also reserved 80 copies of the pin of the day for the first 80 eighty guys who send in their dust. Last year's spring doin's at Tehachapi nearly topped 100, so you want to act on this now!
The other thing you'll want to bring is a PBC. Doc has a great crew taking care of business this fall, honchoed by our Hangman, Scott "Curley" Gow, who has a great sense of humor. If you've ever wanted to have a friend taken in, PXL is the place to do it.
At PXL we don't do dirty, but we do make sure that candidates experience our camaraderie first hand so that they know why becoming a Clamper is one of the best things that could ever happen to a man. PBCs are free to fraternize with the Brethren through Friday night, but on Saturday we get them up early and put them through their paces. We emphasize service, brotherhood and history, and on Saturday night we'll celebrate your PBCs ordeal with one of the finest HOCOs in all of Clamperdom, produced by our Clampsthespian, Dave "Boulder" Staley.
What we do ask of sponsors is that they make sure that their PBC is familiar with the PBC Handbook, has a bribe fit to impress our board and that he be ready to deliver a five minute history presentation, real or otherwise. As his sponsor it is your responsibility to provide him with a bribe if didn't bring one, and to cram him full of a five minute history presentation if he did not prepare one. We don't ask a lot, but we do expect your PBC to stand and deliver before the Redshirts assembled.
Any fool can wear a watermelon on his head, get oatmeal poured down his pants or crawl though the "tunnel of luv," but all that even teaches a PBC is that Clampers are a bunch of sadistic a**h****, and what begets one, begets the other. The real Clamper test is whether your guy can look us in the eye and show us that he is worthy of a Red Shirt. Brotherhood should mean just that, and we only want those whose friendship you value and are worthy to be taken in. By 2:33 p.m. on Saturday, everybody will be on deck to see your would be Brother perform and you do not want to end up being the goat, you want to be the hero.
If you've ever been to one of our Doin's then you know us Lebeckians as a bunch of friendly guys of different backgrounds and persuasions. "From Brain Surgeons to Drain Surgeons," as our Clampatriarch Emeritus, Timbo Gillespie likes to say. We make a point of making visitors feel welcome, and we aren't so big that you'll ever feel lost at one of our Doin's. In fact, about half of our members have come to us from other chapters because they feel at home with us. So if you've never been to a Lebeck Doin's, or haven't been for a while, now's the time to come on by. We'll leave the gate open for you. Just go to our registration page to get started. See you at the Fair!
Posted 2.25.18 -- By MGM
Excuse the mess, but I wanted to get the electronic registration up and running by today to give everybody a chance to get an early start. I'll post something longer later, but for now just click on the Ferris Wheel above to go to our Internet Registration Page where you can avoid a trip down your driveway to your mailbox and use PayPal to boot! If you don't see the Ferris Wheel make sure to click the refresh button on your browser. Back at you shortly.
Posted 2.23.18 -- By MGM
Hello, fellow Cloggites! Thanks to all who made it to the Widders' Ball. The photos are up on our Facebook Page, with thanks to Max "The Flash" Felser for his work. Now that the door to Peter's Picture Pages has been fixed, the photos will be posted here as well; but first things first. The Spring Procs has gone out in the mail, and some of you have already sent in you rub for the Spring Doin's by snail mail. For the rest of you, electronic registration and PayPal should be up shortly. As usual, you'll be able to read all about it, download the flyer, the PBC handbook and more. See you back in few days!
Posted 1.15.18 -- By NGH Dale "Top" Turner
Greetings fellow Clampers,
This will most likely be my last Humbugs Blast. In just 12 days I will be passing the Staff of Relief to VNGH (Humbug Erectus) Myrl "Doc" Wallace at the PXL Widders' Ball on Saturday, 27 January 2018, at the Homewood Suites in Bakersfield.
Here is a update on what's taken place since the Fall Doin's:
o The Humbug Erectus & Vice Humbug Erectus, with the support of their Widders, have been working diligently getting everything ready for the Widders' Ball. Once again the music entertainment will be provided by Carlos "Spinner" Lemus. We still have spots available just remember we only have room for 100. XNGH Jim "Bullseye" Bailey has made his hotel and staff available to us again this year. There have been some cosmetic changes made at the hotel which you'll find most pleasant. If you have not been to a PXL Widders' Ball you're missing a good time for both you and your Widder. For those who will be staying at the Homewood Suites you'll enjoy a nice breakfast in the morning which is included with your stay. Just click here to go to our 2018 Widders' Ball Page for more, but do it right away!
o There will be a Corporate meeting for all members and current and incoming Officers and Functionaries on Saturday, 27 January 2018, at 1300. The PXL Hospitality Room will open at 1500. The Bar will be an "open Bar" that will also include snacks. XNGH Bob Cordes has volunteered to help at the bar, thank you Bob.
o We have signed up five more Associate Members since the Fall Doin's bringing our total to 25 for Clamper Year 6022 (2017). These are some quality Clampers who have demonstrated their ability to multitask, being able to do two fisted drinking while adding a little more class to PXL Chapter. Remember we want Quality not Quantity.
o The "Clamper Saturday Get Away" has proven to be a great success. Since our first gathering at the Elks Lodge #2379, in Canyon Country back in July 2017, we have averaged twenty-two Clampers each month for the two to three hour gathering, sipping libations and enjoying a hot dog or two. We have experienced some most Satisfactory interaction with fellow Clampers from Platrix, Bodie and Slim Princess. The gatherings are held the first or second Saturday of the month. An Email notice goes out at least ten days before the date of our "Clamper Saturday Get Away." To get on the Email list just send your Name and Email to me at email@example.com.
Our next gathering will be Saturday, February 3, 2018, starting at 12 Noon. We will be here for a couple of hours, leaving you plenty of time to get home and finish those "Hunny Do" projects before dinner. Many thanks to Dave "Boulder" Staley and Fred "Flintstone" Fenski who have made the drive from Frasier Park to Canyon Country for the Clamper Get Away. Also, special thanks to Max "Flash" Fesler who has attended and taken pictures at all of our "Clamper Saturday Get Aways."
o The PXL Cook Trailer has been relocated from Atascadero to Canyon County. Russ "Hole" Chapman, XNGH delivered the trailer to the new Wagon Master Guy "Guido" Cornell. The trailer now sits on secured private property. The new Wagon Master has put together a Wagon Crew consisting of about four or five Red Shirts that will conduct periodic preventive maintenance on the trailer. A member of that crew, Mike "12 Volt" Mazzetti, will be installing a solar charging unit on the trailer that will insure the portable lighting system used at our Clampouts stays fully charged. Thanks to Russ "Hole" for all his past contributions in storing, upgrading and keeping our trailer safe for a number of years at no expense to the chapter.
o PXL Hawker Kevn "No Eye" Horton has been introduced to a future PBC, Paul "The Tee Shirt Guy" Gleim. Paul has already recreated a PXL shirt that was made some 15 to 20 years ago depicting Peter Lebeck and the Bear before the fight. This shirt is sure to be a big hit, and you can pick yours up at our Spring Doin's. You'll have to order and pay for your shirt ahead of time by calling "No Eye" at 661-823-4643. He will take your size and your Gold Dust. The Shirt will probably not be offered on the Spring Registration Form.
Paul "The Tee Shirt Guy" has also created a most Satisfactory Pocket Tee with the PXL Logo on the Pocket and a full PXL Logo on the back. You'll also want to check out the other great items that will be available at our Spring Doin's. For those who'd like a collared shirt, we'll have one available that features an embroidered PXL Logo on the pocket. These shirts will be "Pre-Order only," so you'll want to call "No Eye" and place your order now to avoid missing out. There are great things happening at our PXL Hawker Booth for 6023 (2018).
o Emperor Norton Day 2018: Vice Noble Grand Humbug Myrl "Doc" Wallace represented PXL Chapter 1866 on January 6th, 6023. After paying his respects at the Emperors' Grave at Woodland Cemetery, Colma, CA, our Humbug Erectus went to Molloy's bar to reflect on this self-proclaimed Emperor of the United States.
o Our newly appointed Grand Noble Recorder Mark "Pokey" Crawford is being brought up to speed on his new assignment by your current Humbug. "Pokey" is well versed in the use of Microsoft Excel and will be an asset to the Chapter. He is looking forward to attending the Widders' Ball and plans to help with check-in.
Well, that's about it. I'm sure I'll think of something I missed just as soon as I hit the SEND Button. Hope to see many of you at the Widders' Ball. Be well.
Posted 10.07.17 -- By MGM
Photos from Clamp Okihi IV - - PXL's Fall Clampout - - "Oktoberfest along the Kern," have been posted to our picture pages. Special thanks to Max "The Flash" Felser for helping out throughout the weekend and especially for taking over photo duties on Saturday. This time we have two sets of photos for your enjoyment. If you cant find yourself in either bunch, you probably weren't there.
Posted 09.29.17 -- By NGH Dale "Top" Turner
Brothers in Red,
I Just want to take a moment to thank all who attended our Fall Clampout at Camp Okihi. Your support is unwavering and has helped to make my Humbug year a most Satisfactory one. Special thanks goes to my Officers and Functionaries who came together as a team and made it a Satisfactory Clampout for all the brothers.
We had four of the hardest working PBC's under the direction of Hangman Howard "Meat Rub" Zerbe who did an outstanding job. No whining from any of them, and what concerned me most is every time I looked at them they were smiling at me. I found myself checking to see if my fly was open. All four had an upbeat attitude and it was an honor to see them put on their Red Shirts. They are going to make great Clampers, and productive ones, if there is such a thing.
Kudos to Clamper Andreas "Fault Line" Gorbea who sold the raffle sticks. He set a new record, $815.00 in Raffle Stick Sales. He now bears the title of "Clamp Extortionist." That's the title given to him by our Vice, Myrl "Doc" Wallace. Fault Line also did an outstanding job as Bar Keep assisted by Myrl Wallace Jr. They kept the action around the bar at a high level and watched in awe as the Brothers put down some booze!
Much thanks to all the brothers who donated a total of $270.00 for the repair of the neon sign located at Sue's Tavern, our ECV watering hole in Frazier Park. The funds will be used for repair of the sign and for two new flags for the ECV Flagpole we erected two years ago with the hard work of Bedrock Brothers Dave Staley and Fred Fenski -- men who fear no concrete.
I'll be on the road for the next eleven days spending time with my Marine Corps brethren. Before I head out I'll be working on the After Action Report with Grand Noble Recorder, Mark "Scoop" Mutz. We will get that report out to you all in the near future. I think you are going to be pleased.
Again, on behalf of myself and the PXL Graybeards, I thank you for all your support and dedication to Peter Lebeck Chapter 1866 / ECV.
Your very proud Humbug,
Dale "Top" Turner, PXL NGH #56
Posted 09.21.17 -- By MGM
Hail Redshirts! PXL's Oktoberfest Weekend at Clamp Okihi starts today, Thursday, September 21st. Here are a few quick notes.
Dickhead Weather Central has gutted the chicken and is prognosticating good weather for this outing. Today expect partly cloudy conditions but sunny through the rest of the weekend with little to no chance of rain. Winds up to 13 mph (aka "muffs"), which will lessen through Sunday, with nighttime lows in the mid-50's and with a high today of 72, warming into the high 70's and low 80's by Sunday afternoon. Bring some firewood for the communal fire pit. The Oracle has spoken!
Gates open today at 12 noon, earlier than expected. If you get there any sooner you'll block traffic on the roadway, you'll p*ss off the Humbug, and he'll draft you to go to the other side of the river to fill up the water drum and bring it back. Don't forget, Okihi has no potable water so bring something other than beer to quench your thirst.
Our first official meal is on Friday night, so remember to bring something to tide you over until then. For Thursday dinner, Humbug Dale "Top" Turner expects to fire up the big barbeque so you'll have somewhere to cook your meat and shoot the bull. He also expects out kit to arrive early Thursday afternoon so if you're on hand don't be shy about "joining the circus." Dave Staley and Fred Fenski, our Circus Masters, would appreciate everyone's help unpacking our kitchen and awnings. It doesn't take much time to set up, and it's a fun way to meet the guys. Same with Sunday when we promise you'll be able to unmeet them.
Friday morning, assuming our kitchen is up and running, yours truly will be making pancakes, compliments of the chapter. So stay humgry, my friends.
Have a safe drive up, and don't miss the Humbug's "Meet und Greet" at 5 p.m., on Friday, which kicks off the official party. As always you can download the flyer and get directions to Clamp Okihi off of our registration page. Clamp Okihi is close enough to civilization that you should be able to use your cell phone, but we are still about 8 miles from the nearest store, so come prepared. Peter Lebeck Chapter does not provide alcohol but if you imbibe, don't drive. We strongly discourage anyone from driving if they have had anything to drink.Lastly we are guests of the Kern County Parks with whom we have a good reputation. Leave you camp as you found it, don't break the sprinklers and turn your sound systems down after 9 p.m. Otherwise, forget the Humbug. Rumor has it that Joe Szot is coming and you really, really don't want to p*ss him off!
See you there!
Posted 08.08.17 -- By Timbo
TRINKSPRUCH, REDSHIRTS! Come September 21-24th, 6022, NGH Dale" Top" Turner, in corporate collusion with the Greybeards of Peter Lebeck 1866, invites you and all redshirts in good standing to join us for our dubiously derived "Oktoberfest Celebration along the Kern River, Clamper Style" at Camp Okihi!
Great weather, a beautiful Clampsite, a Friday German meal delight, Bauer Seufzer, also known as a "Farmer's sigh," und sauerkraut that will surely add to the tooting of the evening. Dinner will be preceded by the lifting of our steins as we toast "Trinkspruch" to our fellow red shirt brothers and start the weekend celebration. So, break out your Lederhousen, your beer stein and come join us for a great Oktoberfest celebration. Just click on this Clamp Okihi link to learn more!
Our Clamp Hostrix Jeremy "Miter Box" Langley has plans for stein holding contest Friday night before and after the full meal. You may well ask yourself, "Self -- what the hell am I getting myself into?" To which you reply, "Only the most fun a selfie like myself can legally have with my pants on! 'Scuse me. SZOT! PUT THAT GOAT DOWN! Sorry about that. As I was saying, we offer fun on a colossal scale, with great grub, PBCs for entertainment, and a corps of officers who.....well, let's just say we have a corps of officers who in their sober moments have some fun activities planned for our weekend, starting with Friday Night's post-sauerbraten, Beer drinking and Stein Holding Contest.
What's the deal, you ask? Such a deal we heartily reply! $65 American. Yessir! Beat the deadline and it's only 65 greenbacks, marks or dead Czars. Unless you're a PBC, in which case it would be $75, a bargain at twice the price since it includes a "Golden Shower," if you're so inclined (We recommend a nice Pilsner, but we're not sure what you were thinking).
So mail your rub by September 15th, or use our website's Electronic Sign-up & Paypal link. Either way your dust must be in our hands by September 15th or you'll pay $80 for late registration or at the gate.
EVEN if you're paying at the gate, please let us know ahead of time so we can buy enough food. That way you won't be eating ALPO with Jack the Dingo while the rest of us sup on Saturday's Steak. No one wants to swat you on the nose with a newspaper to keep you off of their plate.
Remember, our famous feedbag goes on Friday night, starting with an Oktoberfest Special Plate cooked by our own Chef Kenton "Airdale" Miller and continues through Sunday morning. We're also BYOB, so check the attached flyer and our website for details.
GRAB YOUR LEDERHOSEN
After Friday night's gastronomic tour through das Bierzelt, be prepared to let it all hang out, but don't get too "Ogschdocha" (Drunk) we don't want you "Schbei'm" all over your fellow clampers.
Then let the warmth pour over you as you settle in for the best open mic night in all of Clamperdom with XNGH Russ "Der Hole" Chapman. No, it's not your Dong Show, but more like our Clong Show. Regale your fellow Clampers with your wit, wisdom, anecdotes, jokes, tales of debauchery, and plain old silliness. The winner of the contest will get to NOT see DH naked, except for DH's leather apron. Silliness will be the order of the evening!
Then for those who haven't had enough (because we know you guys are into self-abuse) we'll top off Friday Night's fun with Clamper Karaoke and German dance. Ably hosted by our Brother Carlos "Spinner" Lemus, with Spinner's tunes and your help, we can make the cows surrender!
NOW ON TO CHAPTER NEWS!
Eighty Brothers joined us at Brite Lake, Tehachapi for our Spring Doin's. Seven new brothers were brought into the Brotherhood bringing our attendance to 87. The weekend at the lake, although windy and chilly, was a great adventure and a good time had by all.
That Saturday morning a plaque was erected and dedicated at "The Old Tehachipi Cemetery," honoring Constable Thomas Godwin, where the PBC's cleaned and groomed the Godwin Family grave site prior to the ceremony. On May 13th a second plaque was dedicated at Bakersfield's old Union Cemetery honoring the not to be forgotten Clarence Charles Pierce.
On May 18th to the 21st, NGH "Top" Turner and VNGH "Doc" Wallace represented the Chapter at Grand Council, Sonora, California, with seven of our PXL brothers attending the three-day event.
For our Fall Doin's Hawker Extraordinaire Kevn "No-Eye" Horton and Flying Hawk Tackle Jim " Man Handles" Mann, will have new pins and ECV items that you just won't be able to live without, so head on over to the Hawker's Table and support your Chapter!
2001 HARLEY DAVIDSON "1200 SPORTSTER" RAFFLE
Clampers always enjoy a game of chance, and this motorcycle could be yours just by purchasing a raffle ticket. This fully tricked-out vintage ride is the perfect Clamper color, and with only 3200 miles on the odometer, it will serve the winner well for many years to come. No Eye has a great deal for you… a single raffle ticket for $50.00 could land you this motorcycle, but purchase three tickets for $120.00 and our Hawker we will throw in a free ECV/PXL Scrub for you to proudly strut your stuff and show your true colors.
The drawing will be held on Saturday, October 14th at the world famous "Dog House Saloon" 777 W. Tehachapi Blvd, Tehachapi, California, and the winner need not be present to win. Proceeds will be used to support future PXL plaquings.
Following our Fall Clampout at Camp Okihi, the Chapter we will gather for our annual Chapter Business meeting in Frazier Park. The meeting will be held on Saturday, November 18, 2017 at La Sierra Mexican Restaurant, 3500 Mt. Pinos Way, Frazier Park Show up early for breakfast 0900 followed by the meeting at 1100.
VNGH Myrl "Doc" Wallace will present his proposed list of Officers and Functionaries for 2018 along with his selected Spring and Fall Clampsite and Plaque locations. If you have something to say, this is the place to do it. Let your voice be heard and join us.
For major updates and details about what's coming down the pike (or up the flume, as the case may be) make sure to read the PXL CLOG at www.peterlebeckecv.com. XNGH Mikee "MGM" Ramirez spends a lot of time and money keeping us on top of things in a stylish manner, so please don't let all of his efforts go to waste. It's the best website in Clamperdom!
BUT MOST ESPECIALLY FOR…
Lastly, there is a women's shelter in Bakersfield to which Peter Lebeck Chapter has been donating to formany years. So when you come to a PXL Doin's please help the less fortunate by bringing a few personal care items for the ladies and children in distress who have often had to leave home with little but the clothes on their backs. Things like shampoo, powder, hair conditioner, disposable razors and body lotion will help give these ladies a sense of worth and dignity. Travel sizes are appreciated, too! Toys and learning supplies (pencils, crayons, construction paper and the like) will also allow the kids some semblance of a childhood. If you don't know what to get, ask your Widder, or a store clerk, for help. Don't be a Scrooge McClamper! Take the price of an 18 pack or your favorite bottle and make a difference in the life of someone less fortunate.
Timbo Gillespie, XXNGH -- "PXL Clamp Crier" ...and remember to Love us on Facebook
Posted 08.03.17 -- By MGM
Your humble Cyberrecorder (that would be me) is still working on some of the detail pages, but the electronic sign-up portal, including Paypal, is now operational. I hope to have our website update completed by early next week, but in the meantime, thanks for your patience and please register for "Clamp Okihi IV -- Octoberfest Along the Kern!" --MGM
Posted 07.14.17 -- By MGM
Thanks to all who made our Spring Doin's a great success. Sign-up for our fall doin'd will be up shortly. --MGM
Posted 03.20.17 -- By MGM
Welcome Cloggites! It's most satisfactory to have you back. It's been awhile so let's dig in right away.
Why Brite Lake, you say? Because Stupid Lake was booked up? No, Bro', it's because PXL doesn't do stupid. Besides, most of us are smarter than a fifth grader and we're ready to level up. The question is, are you?
If that's the case, then won't you please join us the weekend of April 28-30, 2017, when the Brothers of your favorite piss poor bear wrassler, Peter Lebeck, will be meeting in Tehachapi for our 2017 Spring Doin's. Our Humbug, Dale "Top" Turner, has picked a real doozy. He wore out his new knee pads begging Tehachapi Valley Recreation & Parks to let us come Clamping at Brite Lake, and now you can be the beneficiary of all that groveling. Words to the wise. It ain't easy being the Humbug at PXL so you need to make this one happen! OK?
Springtime makes Brite Lake one of the choicest spots in all of Kern County as it prominently features - are you ready? -- water with fish in it. In fact "Top" is offering his world famous "Water with Fish in It" Guarantee to everyone who ventures out to our Spring Doin's. Truth be told we're still smarting from Fall 2012 when some Boy Scout heard we were headed up to Camp Whitsett and pulled the plug on Lake Ida before we could pop the cork back in.
Well that's not going to happen this time. As Top says, Brite Lake is the ideal place to experience the "Sweetness of Doing Nothing." It's actually a reservoir in the Tehachapi Mountains, and while you shouldn't swim, boat, or kayak in it, fishing is OK, but you'll need a fishing license if you want the trout and bass to have their way with you.
The parks people have agreed to rope off the area around Pavilion 3 for our use so we should have no problems engaging in our usual shenanigans. There's plenty of room for RVs and tents, though don't expect any hook-ups. You'll also want to bring whatever water and shade you'll need, plus clothing for those cool mountain evenings. Bringing a propane heater would also be a good idea. Wood for the fire ring is also good, but no dogs or burn barrels this trip.
The other thing you'll want to bring is a PBC. Top has a great crew taking care of business this year, including "Scoop the Hangman" who has a great sense of humor. If you've ever wanted to have a friend taken in, now is the time, and PXL is the place to do it.
At PXL we don't do dirty, but we do make sure that candidates experience our camaraderie first hand on Friday so that they know why becoming a Clamper is one of the best things that could ever happen to a man. On Saturday we put the newbies through their paces. We give them lots of history and celebrate their ordeal with one of the finest HOCOs in all of Clamperdom. By Saturday evening every survivor knows brotherhood and that brotherhood has its rewards. He's also guaranteed to know which side of his bread has Bondo on it.
If you've ever been to one of our Doin's then you know us Lebeckians as a bunch of friendly guys of different backgrounds and persuasions. "From Brain Surgeons to Drain Surgeons," as our Clampatriarch Emeritus, Timbo Gillespie likes to say. We make a point of making visitors feel welcome, and we aren't so big that you'll ever feel lost at one of our Doin's. In fact, about half of our members have come to us from other chapters because they feel at home with us.
But we do want to keep our chapter vibrant with new, quality brethren, particularly if they will make PXL their home base from the start, and that's what we're pitching this trip. In that vein we have delayed a proposed $20 increase to our PBC rub, which even at twice the price is a steal. For now it remains $75 if he prepays.
As for you Redshirts, due to increased expenses we've had to raise our rub $10. It probably should have been $20, but we didn't want to leave behind any Brothers on a tight budget. Those extra bucks will help make sure we break even, and hopefully give us more flexibility about where we go and what we do next.
But if you happen to have some extra dust weighing you down, don't be shy about visiting our Clampstore where our Hawker "No Eye," and his Tackles, Kodi and "Man Handles," will take satisfactory care of you. You (and your wallet) will be "enlightened" by the experience, believe me.
So come on up to Brite Lake! Top has a great weekend of "nothing" planned for all of us starting with Friday afternoon's Hot Tottie Meet 'n' Greet, where VNGH "Doc" Wallace will be presenting his research into GROGS served aboard Phoenician Men O' War, during the 5th Century Achaemenid (Persian) Empire.
But just in case you didn't know already, PXL is a BYOB Chapter, so if you'd like to bring something to help lubricate Doc's rather dry presentation, that should help him get a good start - - though it's not likely to do much for Doc's forehand. But never fear! For that we have Clamps Hostrix, "Mitre Box" Langley, who will act as master of ceremonies, and also clean up the place. So meet them both at the libations center at 5:58 pm. You'll have a great start to a fun evening.
Friday Dinner will be hot pasta topped by Airdale's favorite red sauce and Imported Donkey Sausage, followed by our famous Yucca-Off, and lots of lies, jokes, drunken cowboy poetry and off-key singing. You're contributions never go unrewarded - so it's best to offer up your PBC in your stead before taking the plunge yourself.
On Saturday Top thinks we ought to be able to sleep in for a change. As part of his campaign to promote the Zen of doing nothing, the PBCs and PXL Graybeards will be cooking our "famous potluck breakfast" for brunch, which will be served about 10:21 am. Contribute what you can please, but leave the eggs at home so the chickens don't miss them. Also keep in mind that on this trip we won't be eating dinner until 5:00 pm, and that the HOCO is set for 7:15 pm at night.
If you have a PBC, make sure he comes prepared! As his sponsor it is your responsibility to provide him with a bribe if didn't bring one, and to cram him full of a five minute history presentation if he did not prepare one. We don't ask a lot, but we do expect your PBC to stand and deliver. Any guy can wear a watermelon on his head, get oatmeal poured down his pants or crawl though the "tunnel of luv," but all that teaches a PBC is that Clampers are sadistic a**h****. The real test is whether your guy can look us in the eye and show us that he is worthy to be one of us. By 2:33 pm, everybody will be on deck to see him perform and you do not want to end up being the goat, you want to be the hero.
When you sign-up, whether by internet or snail mail, make sure you specify a dinner preference between Ribeye steak, BBQ Chicken or the Marcel Marceau pantomime special. As usual dinner comes with all the fixxin's, including Timbo's double award winning Clamper Beans.
Finally we'll be wrapping up our planned Saturday Night festivities with a short raffle at 8:15 pm, followed by more shenanigans. All in all we expect it to be a most memorable weekend, or at least one you'll tell others you sort of remember as one of the greatest Clampouts of all time.
Make sure you make the April 21st sign-up deadline or it's a $1000 more at the gate and we send you home without your rims and spare tire. Just go to our registration page to get started. It's where the rubber meets the road!
Posted 10.31.16 -- By MGM
A Brother Needs our HELP! Hello Brothers, we haven't done this for a while, but when we hold up the sign of the ill jackass, we mean it. For "while no widows are apt to respond to it, it will at all times and places bring Brother Clampers from far and near" to help a Brother in distress.
This time it's Bedrock that is looking to us for help. Most of you know Damon "Barney Trouble" Patterson. He's a PXL Brother and son of Ring Master Fred "Flintstone" Fenski of Frazier Park. Well Damon has fallen on some hard times due to illness. He's been waylaid with a severe case of pancreatitis that has kept him hospitalized for nearly a month. While as a veteran, Damon was fortunate enough to qualify for treatment at a government facility, Brother Barney incurred some serious medical bills before being transferred to the VA about three weeks ago.
Because Damon is self-employed he has little to fall back on, and he could really use our help keeping the coyotes away from his door, so for the next two weeks we are asking you to give, even if it's just a few bucks you might otherwise spend on a six pack. And while we're hoping that some of you might give a bit more, we're hoping that those six packs add up.
Now keep in mind that this isn't part of our usual non-profit activity. The money you give is not tax deductible, and you won't get any recognition except maybe from the Man upstairs. At the end of the day no one will know who gave what, but doing it this way is in the best Clamper tradition. It is how Redshirts have always provided for our Brothers in distress. It's personal, but anonymous, and one of the best ways to reaffirm the bonds of our Brotherhood.
So we've created a couple way to get this done. Clicking on Damon's photo will take you to a Paypal page where you can make a donation. If you'd rather give by mail send your dust to Peter Lebeck #1866, c/o Myrl "Doc" Wallace, GNR/Asst. GDR, 3292 Ferndale DR, Santa Maria, CA 93455. Please do it by November 16, 2016. We'll make sure Damon gets it, and we'll make sure to let you know how we made out and how Damon is doing.
To get back to our Facebook Page, click here.
Posted 9.26.16 -- By MGM
Thanks to all who made it up to Bald Eagle Ranch for our most laid back Fall Doin's. We could have asked for better weather but we'd get punished for being greedy. Keep an eye out for the PXL CLOG --Coming Soon!
Posted 9.23.16 -- By MGM
Here's the last minute weather skinny from Dickhead Weather Central for our Fall Doin's at Bald Eagle Ranch in Havilah. Expect NO RAIN. I know you are all disappointed, but all I can say is next time dance harder, get on your knees and use bigger rugs. On the up side, we expect it to be about 10 degrees cooler than in Bakersfield and even cooler than in L.A. where temperatures should hit the century mark on Sunday. Look forward to daytime highs in the 70's on Friday and in the 80's on Saturday and Sunday. We don't expect it to drop below 50 degrees in the evening, but that still means you'll need a jacket.
You're also welcome to bring your propane heater, but open fires and burn barrels are verboten given the dry conditions. All roads leading to Havilah are open including Lake Isabella Highway, so the Cedar Fire 30 miles away and north of Lake Isabella will not be a problem. There are currently no fires in the Havilah / Walker Basin / Caliente Areas. Should you find the hint of smoke to be an issue, please have a Margarita on our Humbug and repeat until the anxiety has passed. Operators are standing by to connect you directly to Smokey Bear who has promised to include all interested Clampers in the group hug.
EMERGENCY CONTACT INFORMATION. Bald Eagle Ranch is out of cell range. If need be (or for that matter, if you get lost) you or your Widder can call our hosts Wes and Janet Kutzner at (760) 379-2636 and they will relay the message.
Friday Night dinner will be Pasta á la Frankie Bergolio, served with sweet Italian Sausage and a red sauce, about 7:00 p.m. Following dinner, please join our Humbug for his PXL exclusive "Margaritafest Meet and Greet," where the camaraderie awaits. Need more? Then go to our Fall Doin's Page for directions and additional details. Drive safely, and see you there!
Posted 9.19.16 -- By MGM
The prepay discount is now over, but you can still sign-up for our Bald Eagle Ranch 2016 Fall Doin's by going to our Fall Doin's Page. Just click on Louie the Cybereagle. Letting us know ahead of time that you're coming is very much appreciated. You'll also find directions and other important information you're going to need if you intend to join us. See you Friday!
Posted 9.15.16 -- By MGM
The prepay deadline has arrived, so please sign-up now if you're coming next week to our fall Doin's at the Bald Eagle Ranch. It's the right thing to do, and the courtesy of letting us know that we should be expecting you is always appreciated. After all, Havilah is nowhere near any supermarkets, and you don't want to go trying to catch you own coyote meat for Saturday's feast when you can be noshing on a ribeye or scarfing on a big barbequed chicken breast. Just click on Louie the Cyber Eagle, above to go to our electronic registration page and get you started the PXL Way. And remember . . . If you are intending to bring a PBC, make sure you read the requirements, then download a copy of the PBC Handbook for your buddy ahead of time. We want you both to be looking good! The latest edition of the PXL CLOG will be up shortly.
Posted 8.9.16 -- By MGM
The PXL Fall Doin's is headed your way! Now, by decree of our Humbug, Luis "Vaquero Bouza, with your choice of meat! Come September 23-25, 2016 (6021), The Brother of Peter Lebeck and their most esteemed guests will be doin' the Louie-Louie at the Bald Eagle Ranch in Havilah, California. All Redshirts in good standing and their PBCs are invited to come and enjoy a most relaxing weekend in the mountains of Kern County.
If you came here previously looking for our online sign-up, and couldn't find it, well that's because it wasn't here yet. We had to special order it from China where we expected it to be lovingly handcrafted by cloistered 10th degree Dumbillican Monks with bad attitudes. While that does not explain why it's arrived two weeks behind the snailmail flyer, perhaps next time the frolicking friars should put the right amount of postage on the package and write the address in Times New Roman instead of using that fancy-smancy "Dumbillican Chicken Scratch" font of theirs. And I still can't explain the Mexican Postmarks except to say that it looks like even the Dumbillicans are outsourcing these days.
Well, whatever. Suffice it to say that you can now use our newly imported Doin's pages to get all the info you need to sign-up and pay for the hottest ticket in Kern. You'll want to start with our Bald Eagle Ranch Page to gather a few quick particulars, then mosey on over to our Fall Doin's Registration Page where you can sign-up, get the flyer, schedule, directions, PBC Handbook and other goodies.
If you came here looking for the CLOG, you also came to the right place, but we ordered that one from the Vituscans, and who knows when that thing will show up. Though we suspect it may be sooner than you'd think. I hear they're outsourcing to Guatemala these days.
Posted 4.28.16 -- By MGM
Thanks to all who made it out to the Sh*t Howdy Ranch for our Spring Doin's, it was a great time! We'll see you this summer in Tehachapi for our Plaquing event. The photos will be up shortly, so check back soon! And don't forget to visit us on Facebook. --MGM
Posted 4.14.16 -- Amended 4.15 -- By MGM
Hopefully if you are reading this you're doing a last minute check for direction and instructions for Peter Lebeck's 2016 Spring Doin's. You'll find those, as well as the flyer in PDF form, on our registration page. But here's a few last minute tidbits just for you. You'll find more naughty bits further down into the CLOG so feel free to read on. It's good for you.
There is no cell service in Walker Basin so plan accordingly. You'll find the last best signal in Caliente or Bodfish. In case of Emergency ONLY your Next of Kin may call the Ranch House at 661-867-2414. Our host is Jayne Price so be polite. Weather is looking good for this weekend, and burn barrels are OK. Don't forget, you can open the gates starting at 10 a.m., Friday, just make sure to shut the gate behind you so the cows don't go on vacation. After that join us for Petey's Flying Circus. Then at 4 p.m., Humbug Luis Bouza will crack a snack and a beer in your honor at the Humbug's Meet and Greet, so don't miss it.
Due to circumstances beyond our control road kill will be off the menu for Friday night dinner. Friday's hot meal will still be on the house, but instead of assorted meat squash our new Clampchef, Kenton "Airdale" Miller, will be mixing up his favorite pasta al dente and salad on the side. Our Humbug and his vice, Dale Turner, will be adding the garlic toast and Italian sausage to go with it. Airdale offered to make Vegan sausage, but the idea of eating Ground Vegan didn't appeal to any of us so we asked him to tone it down a bit his first time out. Airdale is still looking for some kitchen help, but don't worry about ending up in the sauce. Clampers tend to be grisly and fatty anyway so no problem here turning you back to the cook. Besides, we'll be keeping an eye out for you.
We're still planning a Yucca-Off after Friday Dinner so make sure you come prepared for a good time. Come and compete. It's going to be a great party. See you in the mountains. Have a safe drive up!
Posted 4.11.16 -- By MGM
The Early Prepay Discount is over, but you can still sign-up and use PayPal if you would like to pay over the internet. "Drop-ins" are welcome, but please drop us a line at Registration@ECV1866.org so we can keep an accurate count. It's 25 miles along mountain roads to the nearest grocery store and you don't want to have to drive -- or walk there -- 'cuz it's all up-hill on the way back.
Dickhead Weather Central reports that the weather is looking good for this weekend. It should be dry, with the high on Friday at about 60 degrees and partly cloudy, but improving to sunny and into the 70' for the rest of the weekend. As usual for the mountains this time of year bring your warm jammies for nigh-nigh time. See you there!
Posted 4.4.16 -- By MGM
Hello, intrepid Coggites! Final arrangements are set for our Spring Doin's at Sh*t Howdy Ranch, April 15-17th, and everything is looking Satisfactory. So if you have yet to sign-up don't put it off. The prepay deadline is this week, and if you're not registered and your dust is elsewhere than in our hands when we take a final count this weekend, expect to pay more at the door AND have to do ten push-ups, twenty if your belly touches the ground before your chest, and thirty if you can only do the girl kind. So why chance it, Bro'? Registration and prepayment is as close as your computer. And there are few funner ways to spend a spring weekend than to be hangin' with the Brothers of Peter Lebeck.
Our historian, Brother Al Price sent along some recent pictures of the Ranch that just about made our eyes water. While we're hardly California drought deniers, El Niño has definitely added more than a few extra green touches to the pastures of Walker Basin, and we expect the wild flowers to be in riotous assemblage by the time you head up to our latest Doin's.
While we expect the days to be pleasant, make sure to bring warm clothes as evenings in the mountains can get quite nippy. Burn barrels will be allowed this time, but make sure to bring a bucket and a shovel, and to abide by the rules for their use. Fire regulations will be strictly enforced because we don't want you to be the dufus who sets the place on fire. Most of all, everybody will be required to have fun. No exceptions!
Clampers unable to enjoy themselves will be parceled out to the coyotes and bobcats for a game of "Meat the Clamper." But forestalling such a calamity is part of our job here at PXL, and to make such offerings to the local fauna unnecessary, our Humbug, Luis "Vaquero" Bouza, will be hosting a "Meet and Greet" Friday afternoon starting at 4 p.m. So you can let them know what you think of them, all current officers and functionaries are required to attend and are encouraged to bring snacks. Vaquero has committed to provide a satisfactory quantity of vegetarian libations primarily composed of barley, hops and water. Think of it as a cocktail hour without cocktails where you can come and wet your whistle at the Humbug's expense.
Here's a few more choice details which you all should know by now if you have been paying attention. Gates open Friday morning at 10 a.m. Sorry, no early arrivals this trip. On your way up make sure to watch for livestock on the road, and close all gates behind you. We've promised not to perturb the neighbors so keep your stereos turned down during quiet hours, and keep your hands off the sheep. Friendly dogs are ok so long as you clean up after them in the clamping area and keep them away from the livestock. And don't' forget your fixin's for Friday night's Yucca-off!
PBCs are expected to clean up after themselves but will be allowed to meet, greet and mingle with the Brethren on Friday. Please turn you PBC over to our Hangman, Howard "Meatrub" Zerbe, upon your arrival. At PXL we allow no private forms of PBC harassment of any kind. PBCs must also have a bribe and historical presentation for our Board, and be familiar with the PBC Handbook. For more complete details, including registration, schedule, information about the ranch, directions, a copy of the PBC Handbook and more, go to the Spring Doin's Registration Page by clicking here.
Several of us attended the Kern County Historical Society Symposium, on March 19th, at the Kern County Museum. KCHS Vice President, Jayne Hotchkiss-Price, Widder of our Brother Al Price, spent about a year putting these symposia together, and this second one was even more successful than the first. KCHS had over one hundred guests who were treated to several excellent presentations on local history and how and why to preserve it. Our VNGH, Dale "Top" Turner spoke on Joseph Walker and introduced the audience to E Clampus Vitus. XNGH Chris Brewer finished off the day with a sobering explanation of how irreplaceable historical documents and artifacts are being lost daily due to ignorance and indifference.
In between, the best and most colorful talks were by local historians who described how their towns were established and had developed over the years, moving the discussion along with the help of old and new photos and anecdotes illustrating the past.
It was a day well spent. I even got to wander Pioneer Village during the lunch break. When it was all over what impressed me the most was how personal hometown history was to these presenters, and how important it was to them to keep it alive. Often driven by a sense of family and a sense of place, these people showed passion about their hometowns that drew sharp contrasts with any mere collection of facts you might find between the pages of a book. So to Jayne and all of KCHS, thanks for your invitation. The pleasure was all ours.
Lastly, I just want to offer a quick update on the health of our Brother Joe "Roadrunner" Szot. I'm happy to report that Joe is getting better after his stroke. He's still wobbly as you might expect of anybody who is working hard on recovering from partial paralysis. The good news is that Joe can still talk which mens he can still bluff. He's going through therapy and may need a wheel chair to get around, but we're expecting him to make it up to Sh*t Howdy Ranch for the Spring Doin's just to beat Louie and the boys at poker. As a bonus, we also get Brother Dickhead, who'll be driving down from Carson City to party with the rest of Peter's Boys.
It's going to be a great weekend. See you there. And don't forget to register!
Posted 3.14.16 -- By Timbo Gillespie and MGM
Happy Pi Day, Cloggites! 3.1416 is here but before I turn the helm over to Brother Timbo, don't let the irrationality of the day slip away without indulging in the spirit of the moment. Have some Pi. Better yet, eat some Pi, too. There's all kinds to choose from, and no shortage if you know where to look. You can even go under cover! But before you go there, don't let the lights go out without first signing-up for the Peter Lebeck Spring Doin's. Just click on the Pi to learn why! Now here's TIMBO! ---MGM
LISTEN UP REDSHIRTS!! Once again, it is time to hose off the RV, take the tarp off the trailer, shake out the tent, or simply move all the crap out of your backseat so you can sleep in there if needs must. Whatever it takes to get 'er done, do it. Because come April 15th, it is once again time to venture into the wilds of Kern County (or at least to the Sh*t Howdy Ranch) and convene another weekend of frivolity and fraternity. T'is the Spring Doins' for Peter Lebeck 1866, and why would you even think about missing it? Tax time is over, theoretically, and after getting a reaming from Uncle Sam, what better way to drown your sorrows than to drown your sorrows?
More about this gala Clampout a bit later. As long as you are making your calendars, make sure to note next Saturday, March 19th. When the Kern County Historical Society will be holding the second of two symposia celebrating the County's 150th Anniversary. KCHS and the Kern County Museum will host the event from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m., as part of its 75th Anniversary Celebration and admission is FREE. Featured speakers will include not only our Noble Grand Humbug Luis "Vaquero" Bouza, but also PXL's own celebrated Clampstorian Emeritus, XNGH Chris Brewer.
Your support for this event is greatly appreciated by us and our friends at KCHS, so come and hear Kern County history from some folks who really know how to tell it. This is also your chance to see Pioneer Village for free. The Kern County Museum has created and maintains a park with over fifty historical structures from around Kern County, and, especially if you have never seen this collection, you are in for a real treat.
So please be there next Saturday, and support this event, to be held at the Kern County Museum's Standard School building in 'Pioneer Village', 3801 Chester Ave. Click Here for the Symposium Flyer and on the school house for museum information. Jayne Hotchkiss-Price is coordinating this event for KCHS. You can reach her at 661-867-2414.
We have an excellent relationship with the Kern County Historical Society, and it is important that we reciprocate the support they have extended to us. Additionally, on May 19th, our current Clampstorian, Brother Al Price and his Lovely Widder, Jayne Hotchkiss-Price, who are both active KCHS members, will be presenting a lecture at the Kern Museum. More details on this as it gets closer.
Speaking of history, Humbug Luis Bouza will have an important erection (aren't they all, at this age?) at Tehachapi's Westside Cemetery sometime this summer. Our monument for 2016 will provide a biographical history at the burial site of Avelino Martinez, the last known member of Joaquin Murrieta's gang of thieves and rustlers. Avelino was a Kern County pioneer who lived to be 112, and passed in 1936.
Although we are not calling for a work party on this one due to the unusual location (Avelino was notoriously short so we offered him a better view, but so far he has not responded), the lead time needed by the fabricator is especially long. We suspect that the folks there are not used to dealing with real live people especially Clampers. But not to worry, we will certainly advise the Brethren in a timely manner so that you and your Widder will have ample time to plan on attending our summer erection.
After a proper announcement and dedication at the grave site, we will retire to the local VFW hall for a family friendly celebration, where VNGH Dale "Top" Turner has arranged for an excellent reception. As soon as we have determined an exact date and time, information will be posted on the CLOG and emailed to everyone on our list.
Brother Charles Topping reports that reconstruction of our plaque at Road's End has been delayed pending the ability of some of the groups involved to secure funding. As we get more information on this we will pass it along. Constructions cost, not including our personal time and expenses, would be roughly $2,000.
Our 2016 Widders Ball was a roaring success due to the hard work put in by the officers and Widders involved. Our host, outgoing NGH Jim "Bullseye" Bailey, along with incoming NGH Luis "Vaquero" Bouza and his crew put on a "Redneck Prom" that would be the envy of rednecks everywhere. Kyle "Big Whiskey" Calloway and his lovely Widder, Shelley were voted King and Queen of the Prom. Brandi Munuzgoren Bailey was voted Widder of the Year by our Greybeards for putting up with both PXL and Jim for the whole year. Kathy Chapman won the Widder's Grand Prize of $300, and Lucky Luis Bouza won the Clamper Grand Prize of a year of free Clamping with PXL, including admission for two to next year's Widders' Ball.
A pretty much splendid time was had by all in attendance, and many got to shake their booties to the stylings of Official PXL DJ Carlos "Spinner" Lemus. Spinner outdid himself with the music mix this year. If we get any better at putting on these good times we may have to have a function every weekend.
Speaking of functions the Fall Doin's is tentatively set for October 21-23, 2016. We are working hard to procure BSA Camp Whitsett for our weekend event. Expect the weather in the Sierra's above Kernville to be as great as the time you'll have Clamping under the pines. For those of you that haven't been there before, Camp Whitsett is a fun place with plenty of shade and a lake that hopefully will contain water. (As we discovered in 2010, Lake Ida has a plug!) So plan on joining your brother Redshirts for a rollicking weekend of ECV tomfoolery up in the mountains, showing Mother Nature what a good time is all about.
Getting back to the near future, here is bit more info about Clamping at the Sh*t Howdy Ranch next month. Please keep in mind that we get to use this nice spot through the kindness of Al and Jayne Price. It is a working ranch, so please be vigilant about shutting any gates you may open, not interfering with any livestock you encounter, and keeping any dogs you may bring under proper control at all times. This is a dry camp, so ensure you have adequate water for drinking and whatever other perverted things you may do with it. Burn barrels are allowed, but make sure you scrape an 8 foot circle clear all around the barrel and have a bucket of water to put out any stray hot spots or Clampers that may catch alight. Once again, make sure you have what you need to be happy and comfy, as the nearest store is 25 miles away, and what are the odds of you being sober enough to drive that far?
Don't forget your tequila, your gallon jug, and your citrus so you, and whatever motley crew you can assemble to help, will be able to form the circle and make some Yucca. We'd like as many teams as possible to participate in the Yucca-off after dinner on Friday night. There will be plenty of grease in Saturday morning's breakfast to counter the aftereffects of the contest, so plan on shaking away. If you want your PBC to help, just make sure your towel isn't red. You know, red. Just like your face gets after a few Yuccas.
Now that PBCs are on the table, if you're not bringing one, reconsider. They are the lifeblood of our organization, and think how much fun it is instructing them. Besides, the Greybeards will need them to push their wheelchairs in a few years. So bring a friend into the light and have some fun in the bargain. For more information about our PBC requirements, including the PBC Handbook, don't forget to visit our registration page for enlightenment.
We look forward to seeing all that can attend Sh*t Howdy Ranch on April 15-17, where you can have more fun than Dickhead and his friends in their leather aprons. Get your caravan on the road early so as to maximize the fun time! Gates open early Friday morning, and Petey's Flying Circus starts Clampsite assembly about 10 a.m. Your help is always appreciated. Again, for more information make sure to visit our registration page where you'll find links to all you'll need to know about Clamping with PXL and our outing to Sh*t Howdy Ranch.
Finally we'll be headed to Sonora (the one in California, not the one down Old Mexico way) the weekend of May 20-22, for ECV's Grand Council, to be held at the Sonora County Fairgrounds. For those of you unfamiliar with "GC," It's the annual board meeting of E Clampus Vitus, Incorporated. It's a time when the new Sublime Officers are chosen, and current Humbugs are expected to be there to report on their chapters' activities.
All Graybeards are welcome, as each is a permanent member of the council, but it is also a time to extend hospitality to other chapters and to meet those most active in ECV, including their Widders. The Hawker Faire is also a big deal, with many chapters represented and plenty of opportunities to barter for new items. We typically have someone snag us a good spot near the meeting hall ahead of time and assemble our pop-ups in a place that is convenient for old friends to drop by and visit.
If you would like to join us, even if you are not a Graybeard, and especially if you aspire to move up the ranks, your help and attendance will be appreciated. Please give VNGH Dale Turner a call so we can count you in.
Timbo Gillespie, XXNGH -- "PXL Clamp Crier" ...and remember to Love us on Facebook
Posted 3.6.16 -- By MGM
Hello, Brothers! We want to make sure that everybody gets the chance to sign-up for our Spring Doin's at Sh*t Howdy Ranch so we've made it super-duper easy! All you have to do it click on the black announcement card here to your left to get to our handy-dandy Registration Page. That's where you'll find all the links you'll need to learn about our plans to Clamp in Walker Basin the weekend of April 15th. You can snail mail your application and rub, or sign-up electronically over the internet and use Paypal to lock-in our special prepay rate for you and your PBC. A Clampout with Peter Lebeck is one of the best things going in all of Clamperdom so it's an opportunity that you won't want to miss. In the meantime, we'll soldier on with our rebuild of the website, including the latest version of the PXL CLOG, which should be along in a few days. So make sure to check back soon!
Posted 3.3.16 -- By MGM
The CLOG is due, as is a major update to the website. Watch for it, it's just a few days away! Click on the Spring Doin's banner above to download the latest version of Peter's Procs including sign-up information for Sh*t Howdy Ranch. Electronic sign-up will be available shortly. Thanks for your patience.
Posted 1.18.16 -- By MGM
The guys are getting the Homewood ready for one of the best all day parties in all of Clamperdom, Saturday, January 30th, in Bakersfield. But our 2016 Peter Lebeck Widders' Ball would hardly be as good without you. For one thing, you would hardly enjoy it as much if you weren't there plus, we'd miss you. So won't you please go the Widders' Ball registration page and sign-up. The deadline is this Friday, January 22nd. After that we can't guarantee they'll be space for you at the Ball.
If you've already committed but haven't sent in your rub or payed using Paypal, you're in the same boat with the stragglers. So make sure the send in your dust ASAP to lock-in your registration. YOU MUST USE THE PICTURE BUTTONS below the brown registration form to pay through Paypal.
Remember the party starts at 3 p.m. with our afternoon hospitality - libations and snacks are included - followed by dinner and dancing 'til midnight. Lots of good friends, a D.J. and an open bar. What more could you and your sweetie ask for?
This year's theme is "a Redneck Prom Night." So whether your dinner dress is formal, period or redneck'ed wild, you won't want to miss the PXL event of the year. Your friends and relations are also welcome. Just go to our 2016 Widders' Ball Page for more information including how to reserve a room for the night at a special rate. See you there!
Our Annual Corporate Meeting will be held the morning of the Widders' Ball at 10 a.m. in the Homewood Suites conference room, 1505 Mill Rock Way, Bakersfield. Phone: 661/664-0400 All members are welcome. Graybeards, officers and functionaries should plan to devote about an hour of their time to this important activity which is required by our bylaws and the state of California to maintain our corporate charter. All active Graybreads are strongly encouraged to attend as a quorum is necessary to complete the agenda. Please check last month's Widders' Ball mailer for the order of business or download a full copy of Peter's Proc's by clicking on this link. Following the meeting a few minutes of your time to get the room ready for the afternoon's Hospitality will be greatly appreciated.
We are very displeased to announce that our Bestest Brother and Favorite Curmudgeon, Joe Szot, won't be able to make it to the Widders' Ball due to a serious illness. Joe suffered two strokes about three weeks ago, possibly related to the bite of a recluse spider. Gene Duncker tells us that Joe is stable and is due to be transferred from Kaiser Zion Hospital in San Diego to a treatment facility, where Joe will undergo several weeks of rehab - the kind without twelve step meetings.
According to Gene who spoke to Joe a few days ago, "He's still paralyzed on his left side, so his speech is slurred a bit. But, his voice sounded strong, and his spirits are up. Doctors say he has a constricted blood vessel in the back of his head. As of yet, they're not sure how to handle it. They have him on blood thinner meds for the time being."
Joe keeps his cell phone by his side and Gene is encouraging his Brothers to call. "Joe would love to hear from his fellow Clampers. May I suggest that if you do call please keep the conversation short and sweet. Don't be gabbing on and on and on and for God's sake don't pull his chain."
Anyone who's followed the CLOG over the years knows very well that both Joe and Gene are often the subjects of some mostly gentle ribbing. Both have done some very good things for the chapter, including much hard work on behalf of Peter Lebeck over the last twenty-five years. You can kinda say that they both deserve to be messed with as a sign of Clamper respect.
But Joe is my "go-to guy," my special meme, when I need to get the point across about something serious. Not having Joe around here would leave a big gaping hole both in our chapter and in the CLOG because Joe is Joe. He's one of a kind, and no one could ever replace him.
So keep Joe in your thoughts and prayers, and let's hope we'll be seeing him up and about as soon as can be. If you'd like to send Joe a get well card or give him a call, Here's how to do it, "Joe Szot, XNGH, 7345 Mt. Vernon ST, Lemon Grove, CA 91945. " Cell: 661-965-7663
As Amended 12.24.15 -- By MGM
Happy and joyous holidays, fellow Cloggites! From your brothers here at PXL, may you and yours be blessed through this holiday season and throughout the New Year. 2015 was another great year for us as a chapter. We met new friends and brought in new Brothers, and we're hoping that with your continued participation we'll be able to carry our success into the coming year and beyond. So keep an eye on this space because whatever we can do to lift your spirits is always just around the corner, like our 2016 Widders' Ball, which you can learn more about by going to our dedicated Widders' Ball Page.
But before you go there, this is where, as Clogmaster, I face the usual seasonal conundrum. You see, if I just say "Happy Holidays," I'm likely to be accused of joining the "War on Christmas," when in fact I'm just embarrassed about being late with my post. Thanksgiving and Chanukah are over, Christmas is right on top of us and Kwanzaa is still a couple of holiday meal away. Which is how I like to spend my holidays -- eating my way through all of them. So I guess I can be accused of being a food agnostic, but really, who has a quarrel with all that good stuff to eat? It seems I barely get past the latkes, when I walk right into my first Honey Baked Ham, then the tamales, topped off with season ending plates full of casaba chile verde for my Chicano version of Kwanzaa Dinner. It's a bit confusing, don't you think? Especially when you have all those deserts layered in between. It's enough to make a redshirt hibernate until after the Spring Doin's.
So frankly, I just don't get the war on Christmas thing, though if there is a war it's usually best to be on the winning side, even if it is a bit wacky. This year there was that stink about Starbucks taking the snowflakes off of their holiday coffee cups. Go to a Starbucks and the barrista will pour you a cup of Joe in a red paper cup featuring the Starbucks green and white logo -- but NO snowflakes! How anti-Christmas is that? Can you imagine? NO SNOWFLAKES!
It became a real scandal in the eyes of some. You'd think Starbucks had gone out and torched a manger scene and eaten the barbequed jackass. Then I got to thinking. HEY, our typical red plastic beer cups don't have any snowflakes either! Might someone also accuse the brothers here at PXL of having joined the dark side of the War on Christmas?!
Well I set aside to remedy that, but frankly, I was unable to find any plastic beer cups with preprinted snowflakes. So I figured that to save our honor I'd just have to improvise, but unfortunately, what you see here was the best I could do. After all, Christmas is just around the corner, and the stores are full of more seasonally appropriate merchandise like light sabres and Storm Trooper uniforms. Now if I can only figure out how to drink the beer without dropping the snowflake on my foot it would be a Very Merry Christmas, indeed.
So keep an eye on this space, where we'll be sharing news about the many positive things been up to here at PXL along with details about the many good things to come. Until then, enjoy the season! Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you and yours!
To be continued…MGM
Posted 11.14.15 -- By MGM
The Brothers of the Peter Lebeck Chapter of E Clampus Vitus extend our condolences and express our solidarity with the People of France at this most unfortunate time in their history and ours. As we stand together let us not forget our place together on the ramparts of western civilization. Liberty, equality and fraternity forever! Vive la France!
Posted 11.9.15 -- By MGM
Hello fellow Cloggites, and welcome back to the PXL Clog. On behalf of our Humbug, Graybeards, and anyone else who thinks I owe them money, thanks for supporting the chapter by coming out for Clamp Okihi III, Red Neck'ed Pirates on the Kernibbean. I hope to have a full report up one of these days, with pictures to follow sometime after that, but as I'm always saying, this stuff takes time. I was actually thinking of asking the Humbug for a raise. Except that since he only pays me in eggs I'd probably have to pass on that. Eggs give me gas, and how many omelet can a Clamper properly propel?
Anyway, sorry for the bad yolk. But I do have some news worthy of discussion which I'll share with you along with my thoughts about our use of the web to promote our chapter and other Clamposophical things. But first let's get down to business.
PXL Humbug "Bulls Eye Jim" Bailey has called a general membership meeting and concurrent conclave of his Graybeards to discuss necessary corporate business for the upcoming Clampyear, as well as a rap-up on the chapter's progress during his tenure during 6020 (2015). Of utmost importance will be the appointment of officers and clampfunctionaires for 2016 (6021) by our Board of Graybeards, and preliminary financial reports by our Gold Dust Receiver and Hawker to the general membership. As usual comments and discussion will be encouraged from the floor.
All interested PXL members are invited to attend. It will be held this coming Saturday, November 14, 2015, at 10 a.m., rain or shine, at La Sierra Mexican Restaurant in Frazier Park, 3500 Mt Pinos Way, Frazier Park, CA 93225. Phone: (661) 245-3628. Please arrive early as food service is available (and tasty), so bring a few bucks and a good appetite. La Sierra provides its backroom as a courtesy to PXL, so your patronage is important.
At the end of this meeting we shall table all motions essential to our bylaws and adjourn to the morning of the Widders' Ball for our official annual corporate meeting where final objections may be lodged and modifications made prior to the Board's final clampofficial decisiontry. All members are welcome to encouraged to attend both meetings.
The meeting will be brought to order by outgoing Humbug "Bulls Eye Jim" Bailey, sharply at 10:00 a.m. Following the flag salute the following Items will be up for discussion:
1. Reading and adoption of past minutes - Dale "Captain America" Turner.
2. Gold Dust Receiver's Annual and Fall Event financial reports - Luis "Vaquero" Bouza.
3. Hawker's Annual and Fall Event financial reports - Kevn "No Eye" Horton.
4. Grand Noble Recorder's Membership Report for 6020 Dale "Captain America" Turner.
5. Nomination of Humbug for 6021 - "Bulls Eye Jim" Bailey.
6. Proposed Officers and Clampfunctionaires for 6021 - Humbug Erectus.
8. Appointment of Two Person Audit Committee - Humbug Erectus.
9. Tentative Sites and Dates for Spring and Fall Doin's and 6021 Erection - Humbug Erectus.
10. Date of 6020 Widders' Ball and venue and menu issues - Humbug Erectus.
11. Election of Noble Grand Widder - Humbug Erectus.
12. New Business.
Now let's talk about Peter's Board. After being down about three weeks our message board is now back up. Originally installed back in July 2007, Peter's Board had been limping along for some time. Unlike the ECV Sandbox, Peter's Board is based on SMF's free bulletin board software. The board worked pretty well for years using version 1.X, but would crash periodically. The midnight elves at Lunarpages would help us fix it, and off we'd go again.
Then about a month ago it became clear that after eight years a complete rebuild was necessary. Parts of the board including the administrative control panel became locked and were completely unusable, so when it crashed about a week later, I decided to let it go. There were just too many other thing to do ahead of our fall Doin's to worry about it.
What took me by surprise was the number of complaints I got about the board being down. I even got the Humbug complaining that he was getting complaints. They were banging on 'ol Bulls Eye so hard that I think he was about to hire a professional consultant and pay for the work himself. The whole affair reminds me of that Simpsons episode where everyone is about to abandon town because the internet goes down.
So as it turns out this is the perfect time for me to make my annual pitch for help, though I think it's best to start where Clampers ought to start, with a history lesson. So here goes…
Back in 2005 our then Humbug Steve Born asked for help with his new PXL website. Steve was a high school science teacher, and he had set-up a website for our chapter on a server that offered a free homepage. The pattern graphics were provided by the server company, but the trade-off was that we had to put-up with third party ads. That was in the heydays of dial-up, and I think our free account was limited to 15 pages.
Steve's thoughts were to just get our presence out on the World Wide Web, mainly by posting our Doin's announcements along with some blather about who we were. Steve was also compiling a list of PXL plaques and thought that posting them would give us enough material to possibly justify a paid site in the future. We finally reached that point in 2007, when Humbug Don Johnson approved our contract with Lunarpages where we now maintain about 200 online pages as well as our message board and email services.
Believe it or not, back then there was quite a bit of hostility towards the idea of Clampers even being on the net. The late, great Jim "IRJR" Reynolds, the godfather of all ECV webmasters and what he called the "Cyberwhang," had to fight within Grand Council to use the ECV name and style on his websites, and he was even told flat out by a serious mucky-muck high in the ECV echelons that Clampers and the internet would never mix.
Obviously, that muck-muck lost the argument, IRJR got his way, and now the internet is integral to what we do here at PXL as it is at many other chapters. The problem is that maintaining a traditional website doesn't require a lot of money but it does take time and skills that are often sparse among the members of our order. For that reason Facebook has been a godsend to many chapters, and many have come to rely on it almost exclusively to get the word out. Gone are the days when home computers were a novelty, and in this age of the smart phone, redshirts are literally carrying around access to the web and email in their pockets.
Well Peter Lebeck also has a Facebook page with about 350 members, but it's only an adjunct to our good ol' fashioned, turn of the century, website. PXL uses Peter's Pages to keep our members up to date about our Doin's and allow them to sign up and pay electronically over the internet. The CLOG is posted to document our Clamping history as it occurs, and you'll also find information on our pages about our plaques, Humbugs, officers, members and past Doin's, as well as thousands of photographs.
Even our message board serves a purpose beyond what any Facebook page can do in that it logs and organizes discussions about our chapter that don't simply scroll off the page when crowded out by other posts. Our officers and functionaries have gotten used to using our group email accounts to plan and coordinate our activities. And we have a mass email list of about 400 addresses that we use to let our members know that we have something of interest to read up on.
What this has meant for me over the years is that the job of Cyberrecorder has morphed from writing a few pages to include web design, coding, journalism, photography, site maintenance and management, and even historical research. And since I'm also in charge of our Paypal interface, I even help a bit with the banking.
That's a lot of stuff, but I'm also not a complete control freak, and I don't expect to get rich or famous doing this stuff. As far as I know ECV has not bestowed any accolades on any Cyberrecorder. I hardly expect to be a nominated to be a Dumbillican or an ECV Proctor in this or any other lifetime because of what I do here. But the whole point as far as I'm concerned is to see our chapter grow stronger with quality members. Back when I took over the website we were hoping to attract 45 or more guys to a Doin's. Our just completed event had an attendance of 81, and we've been drawing 70+ of late. I'd like to think that our work on the web has helped to encourage and sustain that growth. PXL has never been a huge chapter, but we are as heathy and vibrant as ever thanks to the hard work of everyone involved. My hope is that our presence on the internet supports and further bonds our sense of Brotherhood.
Now please understand that I'm not bragging when I list all the thing required of a modern day Cyberrecorder. Well, maybe a little. But I've met guys in ECV who truly are experts in these various areas and who could run circles around me. So if I've mastered anything, it's knowing just enough to hopefully not embarrass myself. "A mile wide and an inch deep," could be my Clamper name, along with "Hey You," "Medium Green," and "One More Shot." The truth is that I'm always looking for Redshirts that can keep us at the top of our game because our best effort has to be a group effort.
This year we've had several brothers step up and help us out in the cyberrealm. XXNGH Timbo Gillespie has taken over the job of Clampcrier from Gene Duncker. You'll see Tim's reportage reflected not just on these pages but as publisher of our Peter's Procs Newsletter which is also available here online. Dale Turner, our Grand Noble Recorder, has been doing an excellent job enforcing deadlines and making sure our Doin's details are posted in a timely and accurate fashion. For instance, for the first time in memory, we were able to publish both our newsletter and our webpages two months ahead of our Fall Doin's thanks to these guys.
We are also fortunate to have a new Clampstorian on board. Al Price has been busy researching our plaques for a complete redo of our plaquing pages. He and his Widder Jayne have not only uncovered several lost PXL plaques, but Al is researching and writing new backgrounders on each of our erections which we hope to publish this coming year.
All these things are good starts as we head into 6021, but I'm still looking for guys willing to help and learn as they go. Graphics, photography, writing, coding, whatever suits your fancy. As I said there is always someone out there who can do it better than me and you may be the one, whether you know it right away or are willing to learn.
Redshirts around Clamperdom say good things about our website but the truth is that many of our pages have been up for years and could use a facelift or a redo. So here comes my wish list. Currently I'm looking for a photographer or two to document our Doin's, a message board manager to learn and edit the board, a couple of reporters and someone who can proof and code webpages as we convert to HTML 5.
So if you are interested I'd encourage you to click on over to Peter's Board and drop us a message. If you are interested there is still quite a bit to do over there. Including cleaning the place up and installing a new custom look with better functionality so maybe that is a job best left to you? See you at Saturday's Frazier Park Meeting. I recommend the Chiles Rellenos. They're the bomb.
Posted 10.9.15 -- By MGM
Dickhead Weather Central has provided an updated forecast for Clamp Okihi III, predicting highs in the mid-90's and lows in the mid-60's. Our favorite oracle also says that, "It doesn't get any better than that, Brothers!"
Well the truth is that you could just stay inside and breath in the air conditioning, but you'd surely be denying yourself the benefit of our special Clampout Aroma Therapy. It's highly recommended to cure what ails you, especially at night. We have plenty of evening activities planned to help you shake off the blues, and I personally recommend taking one of our Doin's as a tonic from that which will bitch, whine, moan, demand, complain, grind, vetch, harass and hound you during the day. (No ma'am … I was referring to his boss, honest!)
So come on down and relax. We'll even help you get lost. Laugh and hoist a few with the Brothers of that Piss Poor Bear Wrassler, Peter Lebeck. You won't regret it and you'll thank me and send me flowers and a million dollars' worth of gratitude when you do.
See you when you get here, or write at you when we get back. We'll even leave a light on for you.
Posted 10.5.15 -- By MGM and Dale Turner
The prepay discount window has closed. If you came here looking for information about this weekend's Clamp Okihi III, you've come to the right place. Just read on to the next post below for what you'll need, but first, this watch report from our Grand Noble Recorder who seems to be doing a bit of moonlighting these Days:
Ahoy, ye Scallywags!
As of eight bells, the Crimson Pirate has ordered the cog to bring a spring upon her cable and prepare to drop anchor to the windward side of the Isle o' Kern. Sixty-seven Redneck'ed Pirates along with twelve Bilge Rats - seventy-nine in all - will be ashore to man the gangplank of the Red Cobra. For soon she'll be droppin' anchor on the shores of the Kernibbean where we'll be passing Nelson's folly and many another serious Clap of Thunder seldom heard in these parts!
So mark me words and leave yer musket and cutlass on the floor of yer wench's chamber or be fallin' to the wrath of a flogging, or worse, for you'll surely be walkin' the plank.
Heave to, me Redneck'ed mateys, and watch the spectacle that awaits ye!
For them Bilge Rats will be feelin' the hempen halter and be doing the dance with Jack Ketch that all but the rats will remember. For dead men tell no tales, and Clampers leave no Brothers behind!
Calm seas and fair weather to ye. 'Til me sees ye at the landing of the Red Cobra!
Dale "Top of the Mast" Turner,
PXL Purser's Mate 1st Class
I'm not sure what that all means, but it sounds serious. Still I don't think he's saying that you can't pay at the door or sign-up and pay electronically. So if you missed our not so early registration you can still come on by. We have room for a few more. It's less than a Spanish Gold ounce to get in, and a bargain at any price, but if you are coming, a courtesy email to our GNR letting us know to expect you would be appreciated. We still have to provision our larder, firstname.lastname@example.org.
Posted 10.3.15 -- By MGM
ARGHH -- Me Brothers! Time for a little last minute CLOGINESS, says aye! For the Peter Lebeck Fall Doin's is but a few days away, and I need to fill you in on a few important reminders if you want to avoid walkin' the plank, being keel hauled, or be caught with ye britches down an' kissin' the gunner's daughter.
This is going to be a very special weekend that you won't want to miss so make sure to get your rub in before the deadline. In fact this is so important that "Bulls-Eye Jim" Bailey, our Humbug extraordinaire, has ordered me to extend the prepay deadline through this weekend. He's a nice guy, and he doesn't want you to miss out, but if those pieces of eight aren't in our coffers by Monday's mail call, expect to pay an extra $10 at the door - no exceptions! Use snail mail or Paypal, but whatever you do, please let us know that you are coming or you could find yourself eating gruel along with the galley slaves - and believe me, they smell really, really bad.
Now here's a few last minute survival notes to keep you from crossing swords with the Crimson Pirate:
Gates at Clamp Okihi open at 10 a.m. Friday morning. No early arrivals for this one. If you need a hotel room in Bakersfield for Thursday night, call Jim Bailey at (661) 747-6173, JBBC1500@gmail.com. You'll get a discount but space is limited so call right away.
We've divided the site into a quiet side and a party side, so let our Clampshostrix know your preference and he'll direct you as to where to park your rig or pitch your tent. We only ask that you not spoil the guy. No bribes! Tip at your own risk. Scoobie snacks are OK. But please, don't fall for any of his shenanigans because parking is free so long as you pay your rub. It's $65.00 per hour if you don't.
If you haven't figured this out already for yourself, I'll let you in on the secret…we've got a pirate theme going on! And while you aren't required to dress up, you are encouraged to be creative and join in the fun. Remember that at PXL our thing is to feed you well all weekend, but this time you won't need a grub stub - but you will need an eye patch - so make sure to pick yours up during early check-in on Friday.
Now here are Mikee's words to the wise. Ignore them at your own risk!
Number 1 -- no drowning. Given the drought, there probably isn't enough water in the Kern River to accomplish that anyway, but we do ask you to be careful. If you have your mind on fishing, expect the fish to ignore you unless you already know them by their first names and want to say "Hi!" A fishing license is requires if you want to dip your pole.
Number 2 -- We're expecting great weather and no rain for the weekend, but honestly? Wouldn't you rather have it rain?
Number 3 -- Leave the burn barrels at home, but do bring fire wood to feed the ancient communal fire rings left by the Paleo-Bakerites who used to live in the park. Most of Clamp Okihi is well lit at night but you should bring your own drinking water and something to cut it with to avoid getting water logged. PXL is a BYOB chapter, though sharing never seems to be a problem around here.
Number 4 -- Get ready to participate in Friday night's fun. Come 5 p.m., our Veterans' Committee will be serving Frankie Bergolio's Favorite Pirate Pasta slathered with our Brother Timbo's spicy secret red sauce. But don't think you're getting off Scott free just because dinner is included in your rub, because Friday night is party night! So get involved in our Best Red Neck'ed T-Shirt Contest, our Grog-Off, Karaoke and Open Mike fun. And remember, PBCs are invited to hang with the Brothers on Friday -- we'll even have a special dispensation from Frankie to let them eat the RED sauce -- but all PBCs must check in with the Hangman upon entry -- even retreads!
Remember -- PXL does not tolerate PBC harassment. His heart may belong to you, but his hiney belongs to our Hangman until he's either red or gone. All PBCs will be expected to perform for the assembled Brethren on Friday Night, recite their prepared history lesson on Saturday and proffer a most efficacious bribe of the liquid variety to the assemble Brethren when the time comes, but touching by the Brethren is not allowed!
Number 5 -- Don't forget the BACON! Or any other breakfast meat or goodies you'd like to contribute to Saturday morning's Graybeards' Potluck breakfast - except eggs. We've got plenty of those and your PBC will be crackin'em starting at 5 a.m. Saturday Morning - something we consider a most excellent way to test a candidates sense of humor and oral hygiene. Let us know what you brought when you arrive (PBC or dead meat -- perhaps I'm being redundant there?) so we can put your contribution on ice either until we can cook it or we can turn it over to the coroner.
Number 6 -- Contribute a little something to help support the work of our chapter. Visit the Hawker store where we'll have Clamp Okihi III T-shirts available in limited quantities. We're also asking for donations of whatever scrap brass you may have lying around the garage. We'll need it to send XNGH Charles Topping back to the smelter to show off his talents. His latest creation is a new official PXL belt buckle featuring the Lebeck Oak and an "X" bear reminiscent of Walt Stewart's original design from 50 years ago. This is a unique item that you won't be able to get from anyone but us. See our Hawker Kevn "No Eye" Horton if you'd like to purchase one of "The Charles's" first editions of our belt buckle at a very special price.
Number 7 -- As always, we are most appreciative of whatever items you'd like to donate for Saturday's raffle so thank you in advance. This time around we will be celebrating our late Brother XNGH Dale Charter, who left us for the Golden Hills in 2012. His Widder Marti has given us several special items of Doc's Clamping memorabilia for auction, so bring a few extra bucks for the kitty. The proceeds will go to the Chapter's general fund. Thanks, Marti. This should invoke good memories from all of us.
Number 8 -- Don't forget to bring toiletries and kiddy items to help out the women's shelter in Bakersfield. Small travel sizes are good, as are coloring books, crayons and school supplies. These are for women and children who have been homeless or have had to leave their home at great personal risk so please be generous. See XNGH Don Johnson who will collect you contributions.
Number 9 -- Don't forget to bring yourself. It won't be the same without you. See you Friday.
Posted 9.3.15 -- By MGM
Just a quick note with which to CLOG your day with a couple more errant pieces of information -- and misinformation as well. We'll let you decide which are which. First off, Widders not in Labor is still on for this weekend. It's free and you and your non-clamping compadres and comadres and their little ones are welcome. So bring an RV or a tent to clamp in the mountains south of Isabella. For more information read down into our last post. The weather should be sunny throughout the weekend and be mostly in the low eighties during the day, but keep in mind that the mountains can be chilly at night so bring an extra blanket just to be safe.
Many of you remember our good friend and Clamper Brother, Frankie Bergolio from his visit with us at Walker Basin a couple of years back. How we got to know Frankie really was a trip. Like all chapters, we card Clampers we haven't met before and that was the case with Frankie. Actually we had never met or seen anybody like him. He pulled out this old yellow ID card from some weird chapter. I think it was the "AMDG Chapter #1478." He told us he had come in with Jerry Brown, though he also told us not to bother calling the governor because Uncle Jerry would likely deny it.
Anyway none of us had ever hear of AMDG #1478, so Frankie offered to retread, but given the white cassock and all, none of us had the heart to take him up on it. He said that bolero jacket was what some mean guys in his chapter made him wear when they took away his redshirt. We suspected at the time that that was some weird Humbug initiation; but he was such an unassuming guy we never pressed him on it. We voted to let him stay, and because he turned out to be a real sport and a great guy we've been hoping he'd come back and join us on a regular basis.
Unfortunately that isn't going to happen this year. It turns out that little white jacket was a bigger deal than we thought.
Hola mis Hermamos,
It makes me sad to have to tell you this, but I will not be able to make it out to Clamp Okihi this October 9-11. I know we talked about, and you all know that I really wanted to come out to Bakersfield to be with my "hermanos del pobre luchador que perdió contra el oso" but duty calls and I'm going to be extra busy this month meeting lots of nice Americans in places like Philadelphia and Washington, and I really can't stretch my plans into October as much as I would like to visit with all of you. A pope's gotta do what a pope's gotta do, you know. And if not me, who else in Roma is gonna go out on the balcony to bless the crowds, take out the garbage on trash day, and do all those other things I really don't want to dump on the camerlengo?
So pardon me my dear friends for having to hurry back, and forgive me again for missing out on such a special weekend. Bull's Eye said Dale and the PXL Veterans' Squad is going to serve my favorite pasta for dinner on Friday night, with much talent and singing and celebrating to follow. Timbo's barbequed Rib Eyes are the best (Argetinos saben, ¿Qué No?), and I even hear there is a mohel coming that does magic tricks and has a mysterious expanding suitcase. ¡Oy!
What a good time it's going to be for all of you. I really wish I could be there. So please, keep me in your thoughts and prayers, and I'll keep doing my best to make the world a more satisfactory place. It's the Clamper way. Our way, you know.
Frankie "Pancho Pampas" Bergolio, S.J., XPBC
P.S - Gene, where would you like me to return the Apron?
Well Frankie may not be able to come but you certainly can. We still have room and we'd love to have you. To register, just go to our Doin's Page to download the flyer, then either register online or by mail. You can even use Paypal to pay by credit card.
Okihi is a great place to Clamp. We'll feed you all through the weekend, featuring our Veterans' Pasta Presentation on Friday night and Rib Eye Steak Dinner on Saturday, with lots of fun things for you to do around and in between including the infamous CLONG SHOW, Karaoke, libations contest, Graybeard's Exam, raffle and whatever else will be suiting our fancy, all for one low price. And don' forget, if you come dressed as a pirate, we'll all think you're really cool, and won't criticize your broken English!
Want to contribute? If you are one of our regular members (that is someone who hangs out with us at least one a year, an associate member or an "I spilled a pint of blood and still have the road rash and tire marks" member), we have a few guys coming who would like to retread and need sponsors who would be willing to introduce them to our chapter's ways and to stand up for them during the dreaded Graybeards' Examination. If you'd like to help, drop Stagecoach an email at AndrewVialpando67@yahoo.com or give him a call (805) 651-4747. You're help will go a long way towards strengthening the brotherhood.
Of course we are always looking for donations for Saturday night's raffle, as well as toiletries, school supplies and other items for the women's shelter in Bakersfield, but we are adding another category this time around. PXL is having a brass scrap drive. You see The Charles is creating a new belt buckle exclusively for the Brothers of PXL, and you can help us keep the cost down by donating your scrap brass to the cause. What's brass you ask? Well it's that yellow metal stuff you may have lying around the garage after replacing an old valve or regulator on your house or sprinkler system. Old style metal sprinkler heads, hose bibs and keys work too! Bring it by and you can help us buckle our swash.
I've also heard rumors that our Hawker will be selling a special Crimson Pirate T-shirt and commemorative event coin. These are so special there will be no pre-sales. You'll just have to come by and take your chances, first come first served. If you're interested, bring an extra doubloon or two and cruise by the Hawker's tent to scratch your itch.
That's all for now, me buck-os! Peace out!
Posted 8.29.15 -- By Hole (with help from MGM)
"WnILD" -- A family and friends friendly event, where dudes do the work and their Widders get the treatment. Kids and non-red-shirted friends are most welcome!
If you're wondering if this year's "Widders Not in Labor" Day event is still on, it is. Donny and Jeanie Johnson are sponsoring WnILD 2015 over Labor Day weekend at Wes and Janet Kutzner's Bald Eagle Ranch, situated in the mountains north of Walker Basin and south of Lake Isabella. You'll be in Peter Lebeck Territory and all are welcome. This is a family and friends friendly event. So do bring your buddies, kids, tents and RVs for the weekend. No red shirts required. The Widder, me, and Jack are heading up on Friday, September 4th to join in the fun.
For those of you who want to check-out the sights, we are planning a History and shopping tour on Saturday to Kernville and back, with stops along the way that you won't want to miss.
The basic directions for this year's WnILD event are for you to get to the crossroads at 4100 Caliente-Bodfish Road, where you'll find the entrance to the Bald Eagle Ranch. Mapquest or Google maps will show you. You'll technically be in "Caliente," but that's just the name of a big, sprawling postal zone so don't be misled or you'll risk getting lost.
These are the specific details … From Bakersfield, take Hwy 178 north towards Lake Isabella. After you come out of Kern River Canyon and get into town take the Bodfish exit (exit 42) and turn right at the bottom of the ramp. Go to the stop sign at Lake Isabella Blvd and hang another right. Follow the road up over the mountain 6 miles. At the 6 mile point, just after the curve to the right, divert off the paved road onto the dirt road on your right. Turn right onto Eagle Ranch Rd. Close the gate behind you. We should be visible in the area past the house, after the road veers to the right.
You can also come in from the south from Highway 58 by taking the Caliente exit, but you'll have to look that route up on a map. Be aware that this route is shorter but steep, narrow, and more-curvy than the other route from the North.
Weather forecast is low 90's, so it looks like we're going to avoid triple digits this year! Pass the word! For more send me an email at Russ.Hole@Yahoo.com, or just give me a call, (805) 423-1276.
- - Hole der 1st
Posted 7.12.15 -- By MGM and NGH Bulls Eye Jim
Welcome back, fellow Cloggites to the next grand and glorious edition of the PXL CLOG. There's plenty of news to report, including our upcoming Fall Doin's, current chapter news, and much belated stuff about our Spring Event at Fort Tejon, Grand Council and so forth. But first I gotta give the floor over to our Humbug 'cuz he's still the HMFIC, and what he says goes! So without further ado, here's our Humbug, "Bulls Eye Jim" Bailey.
Hopefully y'all are finding ways to stay cool in the heat. Here in Bakersfield we recently topped out at a sizzling 105 degrees. The good news is that if the power goes out, I can keep my doors open at the Broken Yolk Café because in this heat eggs will fry outside. The bad news - OSHA and the health department frown on frying eggs on the sidewalk, even in this redneck town.
Scrambled eggs aside, we've had some good things going on here within PXL. Al "Tarzan" Price is working diligently as our new co-Clamp Historian. He's been updating our PBC handbook with some more and better questions to put the new guys to the test, assuming they make it that far. You know a PBC is like a teenage boy, young, dumb and full of … well, sh*t.
I'd like to send a special thank you to our Uber Clampatriarch, Gene "Dickhead" Duncker for filling in for me at Grand Council. I was unable to attend due to egg cooking duty at the Broken Yolk where since opening in April we've actually served over 250,000 eggs. So thanks Dickhead for taking the reins and represented us in perfect Clamper fashion by giving our state of the chapter report to the assembled Graybeards at Grand Council.
On the Admin side, Dale "Captain America" Turner and Russ "Hole" Chapman have been updating our PXL Cookbook to better illustrate the duties of the respective officer positions. VNGH Luis Bouza and I have it under review, and we can say that it is nearly ready for distribution to our Greybeards for input.
I encourage anyone who is able, to take on a roll that will help our chapter move forward. As I have said before, if everyone just shows up for the party then eventually the party won't be there. To stay vibrant we need more guys to step up and take on some of the work we need to get 'er done, whether it's working on our Clampouts, our historical erections or our internet pages. I know work and life gets in the way, but no sympathy from me. We have lots of guys that have done these jobs and are just a phone call away to give assistance. Guys who have stepped up to help in the past had work and life commitments as well. I'm not trying to hound anyone or put anyone down, I just want to see Peter Lebeck continue to grow and to know it will continue to grow in the future.
Now on to the fun part of us Clampers doing what we do best, Clamp. As many of you know we are headed to Clamp Okihi on the Kern River for our Fall 2015 Doin's, October 9-11. Given the California drought and hot summer we've been experiencing there is no guarantee that we'll have water in the river. There is however a guarantee of a great time getting our Clamp on. We will have the best food in Clamperdom and some of the best camaraderie one could ask for just hanging out with the Brothers of PXL. We are working diligently on the schedule and what we have planned is guaranteed by me to bring a smile to even the grumpiest of Clampers. So heave to and stay tuned as Peter Lebeck presents, "Clamp Okihi III - Redneck'ed Pirates on the Kernibbean." Just click on the Fall Doin's link in the navigation box on the upper left to get all the information you'll need to partake in the festivities. You can download the flyer for good old fashioned snail mail registration, as well as electronic registration and payment over the internet. Just make sure you sign up by the prepay deadline to avoid the gate tax, and I know just how much rednecks hate taxes. More later, and see you at Okihi!
-- "Bulls Eye Jim"
So if you are wondering where the heck he got that name, well we actually took a vote at the Spring Doin's to rename the Humbug, and the Brothers in attendance decided to rename him "Bulls Eye." Gone are all the references to TV and movie horses, though "Pokey" came in a close second. But since most of the guys figured that the first time they called Jim's Widder "Gumby" she'd put them in the hospital, Jim quickly became "Bulls Eye" as a most prudent choice. Now the question is, what are we going to call his Widder? She's already named after one of our favorite libations, so should we give her a pass? I know our Brothers from Platrix would likely dub her "Brandi Alexadra." but we won't do that. 'Nuf sed.
As for the rest of the Spring Doin's News…anyone who hasn't seen the pictures should check out the display I put on Peter's Picture Pages. Only half of what I took survived the cull, but you ought to be satisfied with at least something in the 347 pictures you'll find posted on line. As usual just ask if you'd like me to send you a jpg suitable for framing compliments of PXL. I've actually had guys ask for copies complete with metadata so they could prove to their Widders that they were sleeping with guys instead of sleeping around … which statistically should be a good excuse about 90% of the time.
Anyway as many of you know, Jim did have some issues being on site 100% of the time due to his need to crack eggs down at the newly opened Broken Yolk Café in Bakersfield, but VNGH Luis Bouza did fine when asked to step into the breach. Assuming Luis makes it into the big boy chair next year, I can't wait to see his plans for the chapter in 6021.
In the end I think most everyone went home happy from Fort Tejon. There was one guy who got miffed for not getting the full nighttime benefit of his 1000 watts of stereo power. That noise ended in a hurry. Then there was the minor uprising by some senior Graybeards who were so impressed by Park Interpreter Sean Malis's presentation on Fort Tejon that they inducted him on the spot by "executive decision." Which is quite curious because our Humbug wasn't there to sign his sheepskin. But all in all I think most chapters would be happy to have our problems. The bottom line is that we had a great group of guys come on up and we want to thank each and every one of them for celebrating with us.
Our total attendance for the weekend was 76, the weather was fine and the camaraderie was even better. The larger than average gate also brought in something extra towards next year's plaquing projects. Most of the time we break about even on admissions and count on our Hawker to pick pockets in a brotherly fashion, so the extra support is much appreciated by everyone here. It's also great to see many of our old friends and to make new ones.
So going into the fall we're very comfortable about the chapter's finances, but as Bulls Eye Jim points out, it takes more than money to run a chapter. It also takes time and talent, and we're always in need of Brothers to step up and help out. Jim talks about the party not being there, but we aspire to be a true historical chapter, and that takes more than just giving up an occasional weekend to work a Clampout. But more on that later because right now I do want to hype the party.
For our Fall Doin's we're going back to Clamp Okihi, north of Bakersfield, on October 9-11, 2015. We're designating this one, "OKIHI III," because we've been there twice before and hope to see it happen again. We're also giving it a pirate motif, and christening it, "Redneck'ed Pirates on the Kernibbean." That isn't to say that you have to take off all your clothes, but Pirates in the movies weren't known for wearing a whole lot of drapery, and if you were Burt Lancaster, why would you? But if you're a Clamper, probably not so much. So yeah, you can keep your shirt on.
While neck'ed isn't the order of the day, you are encouraged to contribute to the CQA of our event by donning pirate accessories, adding touches of hillbilly or donning a combination of both. Our Humbug is hosting both a cocktail and redneck t-shirt contest on Friday night, followed by an open mic and karaoke experience that you won't want to miss, propelled by our own Carlos "Spinner" Lemus. Our Veterans' Committee, lead by GNR Dale "Captain America" Turner, is hosting Friday Night's free fooding, and as usual Brother Timbo will make sure you're properly stuffed and ready to go by Sunday morning, plus a whole bunch of other stuffing stuff in between...all for one low price.
As those of you who've joined us there in the past already know, Clamp Okihi is one of the best weekend venues in all of Clamperdom. We've set up several special web page so you can read all about it. So check out our Humbug's Invite, a description of the coming hijinks on the Okihi III page, and get the flyer, schedule, map, PBC Handbook and other particulars on our electronic registration page where you can sign-up and pay over the internet if you are so inclined. We have room for over 100 Clampers and PBCs, so if you have yet to experience a PXL weekend Doin's, Clamp Okihi III would be a great time to get to know us.
Now on to Chapter news.
Much thanks to our Brothers and PXL Circus Masters, Dave Staley and Fred Fenski for their work on "Pole in the Hole," on Saturday, May 9, 2015. For those of you who haven't bookmarked Peter Lebeck on Facebook, the boys from Bedrock (aka Frazier Park) wanted to follow-up on our 2013 designation of Sue's Tavern as an Official ECV Watering Hole, so they came up with the idea of planting a flag pole in front of Sue's which would be visible throughout most of Frazier Park, and where Old Glory and our ECV banner would be prominently on display. The guys took up a collection from the Brethren which covered most of the materials, but there was still the matter of digging a pretty big hole and waiting for the Kern County building inspector to show up and approve construction.
For those of you who think that planting a 40 foot flag pole is more of a poke and less of a dig, think again. Anchoring that pole in front of Sues' is a three foot cube of concrete. That's a yard, or forty-five 80 pound bags, all mixed and poured by hand by a couple of guys who still have to work for a living. Brother, can you say sore?
Anyway by the time the guys got the go-ahead from the inspector they had little time to waste, hence the short notice. Even I couldn't make it out there, though I did manage to put out an APB announcement over the internet. Despite short notice, we still had about twenty Redshirts and their Widders come up and celebrate. They even got a surprise visit from three CHP motor cops. That's normally not a good thing when you're hanging out at the town pub, but in this case it was our friend and Brother XNGH Scott "Scooter Trash" Wall from Bodie, and two of his CHP colleagues. It was all and all a fine and most satisfactory afternoon, just don't expect the guys to do it again.
For those of you who fondly remember our Brother Doc Charter, who left us for the Golden Hills in 2012, his Widder Marti will be donating some of Doc's Clamper memorabilia to be auctioned off after Saturday night's raffle at Clamp Okihi. Among the anticipated items are Doc's Hat and a red blanket similar to his prized red capote. If you'd like a keepsake by which to remember Doc, bring a little something extra for the kitty. All proceeds go to the chapter's general fund.
On a cheerier note, I'd like bring up our Historian, Al "Tarzan" Price, who's joined forces with his Widder Jayne, and XNGH Historian Emeritus Chris Brewer, to complete our plaquing history and the history supporting our erections. Some years ago, when I first joined the website, XNGH Steve Born had begun to reconstruct a list of our plaques, and over time I was able to correct and add to this list. I posted everything I could find to our PXL Plaquing Pages, but I've always suspected that some plaques were still out there, unaccounted for; moreover much of the history behind these erections had been lost, and I had no way to put it all back together.
Enter Al, Jayne and the Walker House Library in Kernville. As most of you know, both Al and Jayne are amateur historians, and Jayne has earned her own chops, having worked her way to Vice President of the Kern County Historical Society.
Over the years both of our friends have made good use of the Walker House collection which is jam-packed with source material on local history. When I asked Al to help us update our website by researching our plaques and providing historical background on all of them, he agreed. What I didn't expect was the kind of enthusiasm with which both Al and his Widder would put into the project. Next thing I knew Al and Jayne are out driving around pinpointing every plaque on the list and looking for more. Chris of course is another great resource, being an award winning professional historian and great-great grandson of Colonel Baker himself, so having the three of them working on this kind of stuff is a real benefit to the chapter.
So here's where it gets interesting. According to Al (and here's his list), out of 53 terms, there were 24 years for which no plaques had yet been discovered - and then the Prices discovered one -- or maybe three? It turns out that PXL Brother J. Corlew, owner of Silver City Ghosttown in Bodfish, had an orphaned PXL plaque that someone had given him bearing the date "1979." That would have placed it in the term of XNGH John McAteer, when Chris would have been his Vice Humbug. There is a reference to this plaque on the "Historical Marker Database" at HMDB.org, suggesting that it had been put up, but according to Chris, the plaque was never mounted because it was inaccurate. Colonel Baker never built a "primitive residence" anywhere in Bakersfield. What he did do was buy a reed hut as his first home on Kern Island and later added on to it. Chris objected to the plaque's accuracy, and because of his status within the Baker Family the Graybeards reluctantly withdrew the plaque. So much for that.
Al and Jayne also rediscovered a plaque that had been rumored to be at Bakersfield High School and which turned out to be hiding in plain sight. Several years ago, after hearing first hand accounts about the erection of this monument many years ago, we sent a couple of XNGHs over to the school to look. They spoke to the school's principal and came back with a "solid confirmation" that that plaque did not exist. So, so much for that, too. And oh, yeah. This monument was erected during Chris's year as Humbug, 1980, so go figure.
Finally the Prices tracked down a third plaque. This one stands proudly at Granite Station. It's from 1981, is in great shape and fills in the bubble for XNGH Bud Bradford. So Kudos to the Price's for this one. The next hurdle will be to update our plaquing pages, which I haven't done for a few years. Expect these new plaques to be added along with others that we've erected since 2010, along with new histories to complement our erections, and thanks to all three of our three historians for that.
So the next question becomes, "What are we to do with the McAteer plaque?" And so far the consensus is to melt it down to create a new style Peter Lebeck belt buckle. And that brings us to the latest and greatest "News of the Charles."
If you've followed the CLOG, you already know that our XNGH Charles Topping is a Master of Fine Arts, and he is known for his spectacular pin designs which have included Clamper pin of the year. Well Charles has offered to create a new Peter Lebeck belt buckle for us using the old McAteer plaque as raw material. In fact, you can help the chapter by donating any old scrap brass or bronze you have lying around. If you don't know what that is it's that yellow metal used to make sprinkler valves and water regulators. Bring it with you to the next Doin's and Charles will repurpose your donation to serve the cause of PXL. With Charles in charge, our new belt buckle design will be the envy of all Clamperdom.
Charles also has his hands in something of interest to everyone who has followed the saga of our Road's End erection from 2005 under XNGH Steve Born. Back then we received permission from the forest service to create a monument along Mountain Road 99 above Kernville, but we had to adhere to some very strict guidelines that required us to mount the plaque to a "natural feature." That translated into gluing the plaque to a rock lying on the ground. The result was that some years later, the plaque was shattered, probably by someone running over it with a 4X4 or backing into it with a bumper.
Well the attitude of the forest service has changed a lot from ten years ago, and our Road's End Plaque may be about to be resurrected and remounted in a more traditional monument form. With the blessings of the forest service which has woken up to the value of interpretive efforts like ours, Charles is working with a local group that would like to restore our Road's End plaque. That may require us to pitch in at some point to build a monument, but this time we won't be alone.
I know some guys hate driving that narrow mountain road, but I can see us possibly going back up to Camp Whitsett to celebrate a reerection of the Road's End plaque. Now, if we can only convince the Boy Scouts not to pull the plug on Lake Ida maybe next time we might even get to go for a swim.
Finally a few chapter notes mostly of the shorter variety.
We are trying to get an early start on our promotion of our Fall Doin's so that everyone who may be interested will get the word before their Clamping card is filled for the fall. So please, even if you don't register right away, download the flyer now, and don't forget to print out the Doin's announcement and pass it around as you wander about Clamperdom. For as Hole likes to say, "We shouldn't just be Clamping in place. We all need to be getting around." (Actually he didn't really say that, but I bet he would if I asked him to). So please, if you haven't visited elsewhere just remember that a whole big beautiful world of Clamping awaits. Besides you may learn something new that could help good ol' P-X-L.
If you feel shy about visiting elsewhere, you're always welcome to tag along with our Hawker, Kevn "No Eye" Horton who appreciates help from his Lebeckian Brothers. No Eye has been working hard to advance the interests of the chapter and most recently has taken the store to Grand Council, Platrix and 395, where he came back with a few bucks and some new items for you to peruse at our Hawker's tent.
No Eye is also working on a new event T-Shirt for Okihi III. It isn't quite ready yet, but don't let that stop you from signing-up for our next Clamp. As soon as No Eye's finalized the design we'll let you know so you can come back and order by way of PayPal, or by just mailing us a check.
Our Humbug and Vice Humbug were unable to make it to Grand Council this past May, so the chapter was represented at the big meeting by Gene "Dickhead" Duncker, PXP, who reported on this spring's Plaquapalooza and the passing of our Brother Mikey "Maggot" Ralles to the Golden Hills.
Rounding out the bunch who went to Grand Council were XNGH Joe "Roadrunner" Szot, XNGH Don "Sawdust" Johnson and his Widder Jeanie, GNR Dale "Captain America" Turner, Jim Mann, and Super Hawker Kevn "No Eye" Horton and his Widder Kelli. The big news from GC is the promulgation of a new, more robust PBC Initiation Standard. But wait! There's more! And you can read all about it in Dale's "After Action" Grand Council Report.
We are pleased to announce that this year's Sublime Noble Grand Humbug is Jim "Hightower" Waterman. Brian Nash, who was named to the office of "He Who Shall Remain Nameless," is the Proctor assigned to our chapter. Finally congratulations are in order to our friend Mike "Smitty" Smith aka "Dr. Coleman," who was named Clamper of the Year. Many of you know Smitty as the Brother who edits the Flatlander II.
Lastly a shout out to our Brothers at Platrix for their respectful request to Clamp in our territory and for their generous bribe, which included admission and the chance to bring our store to their Spring Doin's. Their hospitality was greatly appreciated by our Brothers who attended, and on behalf of our Humbug and Graybeards, we'd again like to thank our Brothers from Platrix for their friendship and support. It's been most Satisfactory.
Until next time, peace out!
Posted 6.19.15 -- By MGM
Bear with us. We getting our webpages ready for our upcoming Fall Doin's -- Clamp Okihi III. So check back in a few days and ignore the old and broken links for now, for they say that even the best omlette starts with a few broken eggs. We suspect that our Humbug will have something to say about that real soon, right after he wipes the egg off of his face.
Posted 5.6.15 -- By MGM
Come raise the flag, and a tankard or two, with PXL Circus Masters Dave Staley and Fred Fenski as they dedicate Bedrock's signature flag pole at Sue's Tavern in Frazier Park on Saturday, May 9, 2015, at 12 Noon. In 2013 we recognized Sue's Prohibition Era establishment as an official ECV Watering Hole, now Fred and Dave have finished the job by digging a hole and inserting their pole!
The ceremony will be brief but memorable so please, join us as we celebrate Fred and Dave's hard work and their most satisfactory initiative. Sue's Place is located at 3440 Mt. Pinos Way in Frazier Park, CA. For more visit us at "Pole in the Hole" on Facebook.
Posted 4.22.15 -- By MGM
Posted 4.19.15 -- By MGM
Thanks to everyone who came out to support the chapter for our 2015 Spring Doin's at Fort Tejon. A full on CLOG Update will be up in a few days, but for those of you who were unable to make it up the Fort for our spring Clampout, it is my sad duty to report that Peter Lebeck is still dead. It is also unfortunate that we did not see any bears all weekend so a rematch wouldn't have worked out even if Peter had been available for round 2.
There were foxes and birds and deer that wandered through our Clamp from time to time, but no bears. And no Frenchmen either as far as I could tell, though I did spot a stray Welshman and another Brother from South Africa who kept trying to pass himself off as "African American." Hard to pick that one out of crowd but no matter, 'cuz we have lots of room here at PXL for our Brethren with good attitudes and exposed funny bones.
So check back in a few days for a full report. The pictures will also take a bit but if you're patient you might even see a side of yourself that you have never seen before, for I have seen the light and frankly, you could use some make-up (and deodorant).
Posted 4.15.15 -- By MGM
Our Spring Doin's starts Friday, gates open at 10 a.m. We still have room and will take you in at the door, but we'd appreciate it if you'd let us know you're coming. Just drop us a note at email@example.com, or call GNR Dale Turner at (661) 714-7203. We'll collect your particulars and dust at the door.
Don't forget that on Friday night we feed everyone in camp, and it's typically party night. Bring something for the specialty drink contest (formally known as the "yucca-off"), and be prepared to show us your best tin foil hat making skills. PBC are invited to meet and fraternize with the Brothers on Friday, but are required to check-in with Hangman Andrew Vialpando upon entering the clampsite and to pitch-in as he directs. There is no PBC harassment on Friday, but a tin foil hat making demonstration will be required!
Bear baiting happens of Saturday. PBCs will serve as bait. You are also invited to join a free, optional guided historical tour of the old fort presented by the Kern County Historical Society. Seemly decorum is expected. As usual we feed you all day on Saturday, including a ribeye steak dinner with all the fixin's, but please remember to bring a breakfast meat or other (non-egg) contribution for Saturday morning's potluck breakfast -- we provide the eggs! Our Graybeard directed cook crew will hash it all up for you PXL Style. PBCs should expect to report to the cook shack at 5:03 a.m.
According to Dickhead Weather Central, "It should be sunny all weekend, with highs in the low-70's and lows in the high 40's. There should be winds about 15mph, so keep the fires low. That sounds like perfect weather to eat, drink and be merry." If our famous oracle turns out to be wrong blame Yahoo Weather.
Posted 4.06.15 -- By MGM
Happy Easter and a Blessed Passover, fellow Cloggites! By now you've likely had your fill of chocolate bunnies or you've eaten that extra chunk of brisket mom left over for Elijah. So the last thing I need is a Peep out of any of you who haven't signed up for the PXL Fall Doin's. What the heck are you waiting for? You're not only running out of time but you risk running out of room, because at Fort Tejon it's first come-first served, and the fort is one of our most popular venues. It's right off of Interstate 5, with easy RV access, plus plenty of room for tents.
Fortunately for you we still have room, but you have to get your rub in now. $55 gets you in if you're a Red Shirt, $75 admits your PBC. Snail mail no later than April 10, or PayPal by April 12th, otherwise you'll pay $10 more at the gate assuming there's room.
We're calling our Spring Doin's, "Rumble on the Ridge Route, Part Deux," with plenty of fun things for you to do, starting with Friday Night's "Specialty Drink (formally known as the PXL Yucca-Off) Contest." So you'll want to bring your best to the test. Followed by our tin foil hat contest, Saturday's Bear Baiting Event (bring a PBC we can use as bait) and other great stuff!
So come on down because at PXL we feed you all weekend and no one goes away hungry. Read down into the CLOG for more, then head on over to the Spring Doin's Page to get your fill of shameless hype and further details on how to sign-up before it's too late!
Now on to news of the CLOG!
If you missed out on February's PlaquaPalooza, then I'm about to make you feel really, really bad, because you can now see the pictures either by going to the 11 minute slideshow posted on our Clampdown Page, or by visiting Peter's Picture Pages where I've posted both a Flash and an HTML version of the same photos. Even after I cut out all the ugly parts I was still left with 127 snaps. The women look good; the guys, not so much. But hey, we're Clampers. We'll deal.
The weather cooperated way more than I expected, and the entire day turned out to be a whole lot of fun. The West Kern Oil Museum is truly unique and a real gem. The entire place is run by volunteers, many of whom are retired from working the oil fields, with lot of great stories to share about local history and the technology needed to take the oil from the ground.
Finishing up the afternoon at Ethel's Old Corral Café in Bakersfield with a second plaque dedication was a near perfect ending to a fun day. We got to eat together, visit and have a few cold ones in a festive locale. The big guy in the parking even sent us off with a smile.
Now on to news of the CLOG #2!
Humbug Jim Bailey has been forced to make a minor adjustment to the date of our Fall Doin's. So please disregard whatever we said before and instead plan to join us the weekend of October 9th through the 11th, at Camp Okihi in Bakersfield. This is a "can't miss Kern River event," meaning if Bailey changes it again we're gonna throw him in the river and make his Vice, Luis Bouza, go in after him. Plus we're gonna tie-dye their chonies and make them do a strip tease during the apron walk.
Now, if that doesn't bring back unpleasant memories, I don't know what will. The whole thing still gives me flashbacks. But for those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, just disregard what I sed, and make sure to sign-up when the fall registration comes on line.
See you at Fort Tejon!
Posted 3.09.15 -- By MGM
Happy St. Patrick's Day, fellow Cloggites! There's an old Irish blessing that goes, "May the beer rise up to greet you and the road fly up to meet you!" Or something like that. Actually, that may have been an old Irish blessing from Bakersfield, but no matter, because it's the thought that counts, and that's what brought you here to the PXL CLOG in the first place. So let's get going. In this issue we'll discuss our upcoming Spring Doin's, last weekend's PlaquaPalooza, and new stuff available from our Hawker.
As previously announced, we'll be Clamping at Fort Tejon the weekend of April 17-19th, an event we're calling, "Rumble on the Ridge Route, part deux!" Our NGH Jim Bailey has something special up his sleeve for this one. Brother Hole, our Clampatriarch, who normally isn't effusive to begin with, will only say that it has something to do with adult libations and sticks.
Whatever the case, you'll want to get your reservations in early for this one. The Clampground's capacity is rated for 100 Clampers, but at 70, we nearly filled up the parking area when we were last there two years ago. For those of you who haven't been there, Fort Tejon is right off of Interstate 5 and has easy access for cars and rigs, making it one of our most popular venues. The Clampground is in scenic Grapevine Canyon and situated behind the parade grounds of the old historic fort. The parking area is flat, there are lawns on which to pitch tents, and the common areas are shaded by centuries old oak trees. There's even a large fire ring, potable water and cell phone service.
As usual our good friend and brother, "Ptomaine Timbo," will feed you well, beginning with "Timbo and Jimbo's Special Mystery Meat Madness," for Friday night dinner. You'll need this extra special fortification because after dinner we'll be launching into our Fourth "1st Annual Yucca Off," where all Brothers are invited to demonstrate their skills for the assembled Brethren (and to share their hooch, of course).
Then get ready to staunch the evil emanations and cosmic rays left behind by the Bear that e't Peter, as we celebrate our first ever, "Steven 'Bee Eye' Cox Aluminum Haberdashery Competition," where bragging rights go to the dude who can make the best tin foil hat capable of keeping the Clampsite ghost bear free.
Saturday is more of the same -- but better -- with three hot meals and more activities to shatter your funny bone. You'll want to get up early for our Graybeards' Potluck Breakfast, where you bring the meat and we provide the eggs and manpower. They'll be PBC entertainment, too, including our notorious Graybeards' Examination, soon followed by one of the best HOCO's in all of Clamperdom.
For Saturday dinner you'll get a one pound Ribeye Steak with Beans à la Mama Timbo and all the fixin's. They'll also be a raffle, plus Jim and Hole's "Second Coming of the Ridge Route Rumble" entertainment. We're even going to rename the Humbug by democratic (and republican) vote!
Yes sir, this is one you won't want to miss, and we've even made it easy for you to sign-up. Just click over to our 2015 Spring Doin's Page, to get further details. Download a printable flyer and fillable application if you favor snail mail, or use our handy internet form and PayPal links if you don't. Redshirt are $55 and PBCs are $75, just make sure to meet the April 10th Prepay Deadline because it's $10 more at the gate, and if we sell out, you're out of luck!
And while you're on our Spring Doin's Page, don't miss out on the other links you'll find at the top of the screen, including links to a personal invitation from our Humbug, background information about Fort Tejon, and photos from our recent Plaquing event aka PXL's PlaquaPalooza!
Speaking of which, whether you made it out last week to attend PlaquaPalooza or not, you're going to want to see the pictures I've posted to our 2015 Erections Page. It's hardly all the pictures I took, but it's enough to show the public the kind of fun we have here at Peter Lebeck. After you check out the page for yourself, I encourage you to share the link with your friends. It just may be what you need to recruit our next favorite ex-PBC and to show his Widder that a PBC really can survive a PXL initiation with his ribs intact.
As for PlaquaPalooza itself, we had about forty people come out despite the threat of rain. The whole rain thingee turned out to be way overblown as you can see from the picture at the top of this post. It never really got cold, and intermittent showers didn't keep us from touring the grounds of the West Kern Oil Museum following the dedication of our new monument at 1:00 p.m.
After our tour of the museum, it was on to Bakersfield for our second plaquing at Ethel's Old Corral at 4:30 p.m. Some of us got there early, which wasn't a bad thing because the beer is cold and the service is friendly, and it was a great place to hang around and catch up with our Clamper friends and their Widders. We dedicated the plaque, we hung around some more, and all in all it was a very satisfactory day.
So I'll leave you to check things out, but first I'd like to leave you with this message from our Hawker Extraordinaire, Kevn "No Eye" Horton, who has something that may interest many of you very much.
Brothers, here's something new available through our store!!!!!
Custom High Quality Hats, the best handmade hats out there! Below I've linked to two web address where you can check out this collection for Clampers and Widders. I will be bringing a few of these with me to Fort Tejon where I'll be selling them for 20% off the catalog price. That's 40% off the price quoted on the "Head'n Home" website, when you buy one of these hats from our stock.
But if you want to SAVE EVEN MORE and want the BEST SELECTION, then you MUST CONTACT ME THIS WEEK to preorder any of the hats shown in the catalog. You'll get 30% off the catalog price -that's up to 50% off the price shown on the Website. Order now and increase your chances of picking up your purchase by the time of our Spring Doin's at Fort Tejon, otherwise you'll just have to take your chances that I'll have the right size and style on hand that you and your Widder crave.
Remember, this is a special deal available only through the PXL Hawker Store, and only to our members and other Redshirted Brothers in good standing, SO YOU MUST CALL ME NOW TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THIS MASSIVE DISCOUNT. Just call (661) 823-4643, and if I don't pick up, leave a message.
Oh yah! If you order now you'll also pocket the additional state sales tax of 7.5%! Sorry Uncle Jerry!
So that's all for now. Keep your eye on the CLOG for further updates. May the Plunger be with you!
Posted 1.01.15 -- By MGM
Thanks to all who came out for PlaquaPalooza and made it a fun and successful outing. We're getting our webpages in order for our Spring Event, so bear with us. We should have our registration pages up in a few days, and the flyer should go out shortly.
Posted 2.28.15 -- By MGM
We were gonna call our event "The Great Leap Forward," but February 29th doesn't happen until next year, and we just couldn't wait. So instead we called it "PlaquaPalooza," and it's PXL's double dedication celebration which starts today at 1:00 in Taft, at the West Kern Oil Museum. If you can't make it out west, then join us in Bakersfield at 4:30, for our second plaquing at Ethel's Old Corral Café, where we'll also be hanging out for dinner and keeping each other entertained.
For this one we ordered up blue skies, palm trees and tropical breezes, but USP told us that, for once, this was one thing Brown couldn't do for us. So bring bring a jacket and an umbrella because Dickhead Weather Central is predicting a high of 60° and intermittent showers. But not to worry because Our Humbug, Jim Bailey, is having the boys set-up the brand new pop-ups that he donated to the chapter in a last ditch effort to keep us from making him Humbug (Sorry, Jim, it didn't work).
So thanks to our fearless leader, we should be fine on the outside, while the rest of our event will be dry on the inside, unless the museum or the roadhouse suddenly springs a leak. Either way, Peter Lebeck has you covered. See you there!
Posted 2.22.15 -- By MGM
Just a quick reminder that PalquaPalooza starts at 1 p.m. on Saturday, at the West Kern Oil Museum. Click here for the flyer and directions. Since we'll be doing a little partying as well as celebrating local history, we encourage everyone to keep the reigns of you rig in the hands of a brother or sister of sobriety. The CHP in and around Taft are especially vigilant, so watch your speed, especially on your way into Taft along Maricopa Highway where the downhill slope will cause you to pick-up speed. I'm not saying it's a speed trap…I'm just sayin' (it's a speedtrap).
If you'd like to stay overnight in Bakersfield rooms are still available at the friends and family rate at the Homewood Suites in Bakersfield, but you'll need to call during business hours and ask for Stacy or Nicole to make reservations, (661) 664-0400. You'll save over $50 if you do.
We'll be finishing up at Ethel's Old Corral Café in Bakersfield, which is a celebrated watering hole once run by Arnold Rojas, an old vaquero whom Chris Brewer reminds us wrote many great books on early ranching in Kern County. In fact you can still park your horse at the Old Corral, though I'm assuming most of us will be driving something other than cattle.
The plaquing ceremony at the Old Corral will start at 4:30, followed by live entertainment and "no host" dinner and drinks. There is no age limit at the Corral. Clampers are encouraged to wear their colors. Friends, family and prospective PBCs are also invited. I've included a YouTube video so you can gauge the ambiance. See you Saturday!
- - MGM
Posted 2.14.15 -- By MGM
Welcome back, fellow Cloggites. You're just in time for another scintillating edition of the PXL CLOG. I didn't want to get started without you, so I'm glad you finally made it. I've been practicing that "Just in time" inventory thingee invented by the Japanese. I figure if it works for cars, it's gotta work for CLOGs. All I gotta do is convince all the pieces to show up at the same time in the same place, and voilà, instant update!
It's so simple even a Clamper can do it. Which is why I'm not quite done yet. So bear with me, we've got a lot to cover. In this edition you'll get the latest on our upcoming PlaquaPalooza. You'll download Brother Hole's traveling flyer for our 2015 Spring Doin's, aka "The Rumble on the Ridge Route, Part Deux;'" get a recap of our fabulous Widders' Ball, and learn about our recent website updates, including a personal message from our new Humbug, Jim "NFD" Bailey, and the shaming of his functionaries. On a final note, you'll learn the sad news about the recent passing of one of our best loved Brothers.
First up, you, your family and friends are invited to our upcoming PlaquaPalooza! It's set for Saturday February 28, 2015, two weeks from now, and begins at 1 p.m. at the West Kern Oil Museum. You are encouraged to wear your Clamper Best. During our traveling celebration we'll be unveiling two plaques before the general public. Use the golden PlaquaPalooza icon in the links box to download the latest version of Peter's Procs for directions and hotel discount information for those who'd like to stay over.
Our first dedication will be at the entrance to the West Kern Oil Museum in Taft. Encompassing eight acres, the museum is run entirely by volunteers, "dedicated to collecting, preserving, exhibiting and interpreting artifacts, books, and equipment that tell the story of oil in California, particularly in West Kern County." Plans for the museum include creating a replica of "an old time oil company camp set in the oilfields." The crown jewel of the collection is the #17 Jamison oil derrick, believed to be the last remaining wooden derrick in the U.S.
First explored in the 1860's, West Kern's oil reserves are estimated at over three billion barrels, and include the Midway Sunset, Elk Hills, and South Belridge Fields, among others -- which are responsible for nearly half of the oil produced in California.
Following our tour of the museum, plan to pack up about 3:15 to give yourself plenty of time to get to the north edge of Bakersfield for our second dedication at Ethel's Old Corral Café in Bakersfield, where we'll be dedicating a second plaque at 4:30 p.m. and designating this establishment as an official PXL Watering Hole. Click on the link to see the YouTube Video review.
Situated on the north side of the Kern River, the Old Corral dates back to the 1920's, and harbors many a fond memory for those who have stopped there over the years on foot, by horse, by car or by motorcycle. Its clientele is as varied as its history, and all are welcome. Plan to have dinner and libations with us after the dedication. It's pay as you go, but we're expecting live entertainment, so this should be a festive and memorable afternoon.
Our Spring Doin's is set for the weekend of April 17-19, 2015, at Fort Tejon State Historical Park. Those of you who have joined us there in the past know that this is a very nice and convenient place to Clamp, especially in the spring. Click on the link above for the official state brosure which tells about the park. You'll get the full web treatment when I get around to it, including our electronic registration, but in the meantime, Brother Russ "Hole" Chapman has prepared a "traveling flyer" for you to download and distribute as you make your way across Clamperdom. We would very much appreciate it if you would do that for us. Please print as many as you'd like.
Now that the Humbug has let Hole out of his cage, I'm not sure how Peter (who lost the first round in 1837) is supposed to get a rematch with an "X" Bear (the last one in California became arguably caput in 1908), but anyone who knows his Holiness, also knows he's probably got something outrageously funny up his sleeve. So plan on showing-up at Fort Tejon to find out. Click on the "Rumble on the Ridgeroute" icon to download the traveling flyer.
Our 2015 Widders' Ball was a lot of fun. We didn't sell out, but we did get 35 couples to come on down and party with us despite some illnesses in the family and an unfortunate conflict with the James W. Marshall Inaugural Doin's. We knew we were going to miss some of the regulars because of the Doin's, but due to our bylaws and the holidays we're locked into a late January date, so this was it. What did surprise us was that someone would plan an important Doin's for midwinter in the Sacramento area. The weather can be very fickle, but I understand they lucked out and had both good times and good weather. Congratulations to the Brothers at JWM #49, for earning their way back into the fold.
As for us, this year's treat was our very first "Redneck Red Carpet." As incoming Humbug, it was Jim Bailey's responsibility to host the party, and he put Stacy Persons, who works at the Homewood, in charge of decorating for the Ball. Her sense of whimsy earns top, top honors, along with many thanks from her fans here at PXL. "Gold plated" thrones and naked Ken Dolls, Mr. Moose in the red hat, pink flamingo centerpieces spouting redneck aphorisms, and a chandelier made of Bud Light cans draped in red streamers - all were her idea. We even heard that she convinced her significant other to empty all those cans just to make sure Stacy still had a job in the morning. Way to go, Stacy!
Actually, we don't really know what happened to the beer other than we know the cans were empty by the time Bailey personally hung that chandelier from the ceiling and managed to make it down off the ladder without killing himself. Had his vice, Luis Bouza, actually known how close he might have been to becoming acting Humbug, he probably would have been holding the ladder - and sweating -- the entire time.
As for the photos, I did take a bunch, but I have to say that I screwed up this time and with a few notable exceptions, you're going to have to wait for me to put them together in some non-embarrassing, cognizable form. Where I will take some immediate credit is for the Red Carpet pictures of our handsome couples which for the time being you can stream in HD off of the Clampdown link in the links box. You all looked so marvelous! If you made it to the Ball, you should have also received by mail a packet of souvenir photos and a thank you note from the Humbug as a keepsake for you and your sweetheart. If you didn't get yours, let me know.
I'm also posting a photo here that I took from the front of the room towards the back, where I caught just about everyone in range looking into the camera. I probably just got lucky because Clampers have a notoriously short attention span and I can never get these kinds of shots no matter how hard I try. If you click on the small version of the photo you'll be able to download the full 18Mpixel version and pan through all the faces.
Jayne Hotchkiss-Price (pictured at the top of the CLOG) was named PXL's Noble Grand Widder for 2015. The award is given to a lady who has made a significant contribution to the chapter's welfare during the preceding year, and preference is given to someone who has not won the award in the past.
In Jayne's case her first association with ECV was nearly accidental, as she and her then fiancé, Al Price gave a historical talk to the assembled Graybeards during ECV's TRASH XL which was held in and about the Kern River Valley in 2013. It turns out both Mrs. And Mr. Price have some serious chops when it comes to local history.
During 2014, Jayne donated the use of her place for our Spring Doin's and sent Al out to pasture in a horse trailer so he could earn his red shirt. Since then, Jayne has helped both research and erect our monument at St. Joseph's Cemetery in Havilah, and has helped us reestablish ties with the Kern County Historical Society where she is currently serving as vice-president. Congratulations, Jayne, and many thanks again for your help and support.
As for the rest of the awards I can't say I know what happened to them because I turned in while the party was still going strong. In my opinion I probably would have won the "Best Dressed Dude Award," but by that time I was already in bed. No one gets an award around here for taking their clothes off, no one. So don't even think about it.
On the Raffle side, Jeannie Johnson, who is a past Noble Grand Widder, won the $300 Widders' Grand Prize. And "Uncle Mikey" Halloran, won the Grand Redshirt Prize of one free year of Clamping with PXL including admission to next year's Widders' Ball for Mike and a guest. Congratulations to all who won the special gift baskets, you all know who you are, and I'm jealous.
A very special couple was also celebrating their 50th Wedding Anniversary with us. Phoebe and XNGH Jim Adams, have been together longer than most of our guys have been alive, and these two exude togetherness with a capital "T." Congratulations again to our good friends, may they be together for many more.
As for web updates, please check out our latest offering. The Humbug has posted his opening statement on the Humbugs Speaks Page, and you can see who's who this year by going to our 2015 Officers Page. I'm still working on updating the rest of the website as I find the time. As I've already mentioned you can get to the PlaquaPalooza and Spring Doin's announcements and to the Red Carpet Pictures by clicking on the links in the navigation box on the left.
Jim Bailey mentions in his post that he may now be PXL's youngest Humbug, but he's going to have to card Chris Brewer, PXL's NGH from 1980, who has moved from consulting Historian to Historian Emeritus this year. The fact that he was so young when he was demoted to Humbug actually has proven quite valuable to us because until Linda "Hazel" Johnson handed me a book with Chris's (half) smiling face on the dust jacket, most guys assumed that anyone who had been Humbug so long ago was probably dead. Not only is Chris very much alive but is still publishing at Bear State Books, in Exeter, CA, and has offered some very valuable guidance about a whole bunch of stuff since we "resurrected" him in 2010. Chris and a Bakersfield attorney were the redshirts who incorporated PXL and secured our nonprofit status back in the day, and it turns out that Chris is well known among historians in and around Kern County.
Anyway, we'd like to congratulate Cris on his retirement from CalTrans this years, where he was the guy that the state would call to the scene whenever one of their workers dug up something suspiciously old or dead. Chris's historical work is meticulous, and in 2010 it earned him the California Governor's Historical Preservation Award. Unfortunately due to a near head-on traffic collision that almost killed him and has left him with serious medical complications, Chris's travels have required a driver for some years now, and finally enough was enough.
So that explains why few of us have actually met Chris in person, shamefully, myself included. But I have communicated with Chris many times by phone and email over the last five years, and he has proven to be a valuable source of information about our chapter's history and the history and politics of Kern County. Chris has often expressed a desire to meet with the club's current membership, and maybe that will happen one of these days. In the meantime, thank you, Chris, for your work on behalf of the chapter and for your continuing support.
I especially want to welcome Timbo Gillespie, XXNGH, and Historian Al Price to our Cyberstaff because, Lord knows, I could sure use some relief. Tim is taking over for Gene Duncker at the Clampcrier position, and Al has offered to help update our plaquing pages. Both positions are basically research and writing assignments. Tim will be writing the PROCS and Al will be filling in the missing background on our plaques. I know people think of websites as "bells and whistles" affairs, but the truth is that graphics and coding are only a part of what is required. Websites are about information, and without written content a homepage becomes pretty useless in a relatively short amount of time. Scan the web for other ECV websites and you'll see exactly what I mean.
Having a literate staff, willing to roll up their sleeves, is priority number one, but even the bells and whistles part can be very frustrating at times. We have over 250 active pages on-line which makes keeping an eye out for broken links something I'd prefer not to even think about. There is something called a "sitemap" which can help, but it doesn't help with a problem I recently discovered which is that a program I've been using for years to automate changes occasionally overwrites pages with the wrong page.
So one more thing to do. Fortunately I did find some old versions on my hard drive that I can cannibalize to make repairs to the 15 to 20 pages that have gone missing. In the meantime we'll just keep plugging along, but please, if you can write, code, take pictures or are handy with Photoshop, your help is still needed. Don't be shy about volunteering. Your work will be appreciated and acknowledged, and we promise not to pay you for your time.
Lastly, it is with sad regret that I must inform you of the passing of our dear friend Mikey "Maggot" Ralles, who has left us for the Golden Hills. Mike's struggle with complications from diabetes had put him in the hospital and ultimately left him "short" on one side, but he had expressed a strong desire to go Clamping with us in the fall, and knowing his enthusiasm many of us were surprised not to see him up at Bald Eagle Ranch. Also he and his Widder, Karyl, have been a constant at our Widders' Ball for some years now, but when they didn't show it was because Mikey was in the hospital. We received this sad note, on Wednesday.
It is with the heaviest of hearts that I let you all know that my beloved Maggot has passed. He died on February 3rd at 3:40 p.m. here at home after a one month stay at the Bakersfield Heart Hospital. It was congestive heart failure along with renal issues brought on by complications associated with his diabetes. Like his birth sign, Leo, he fought bravely to the very end with optimism and humor. It was a long, hard two-year battle. His passing was peaceful here in our home that he loved.
He will be cremated in Bakersfield and interred at the Bakersfield National Cemetery at a date to be determined.
He was so very proud to be an ECVer and enjoyed so many of the gatherings he attended as well as all of you terrific brothers. Please let his brethren know of this event.
God Bless and love you,
Mike's broken-hearted Widder Karyl
The traditional ceremony for our departed Brother, Michael "Maggot" Ralles will be celebrated in his honor within the Hall of Comparative Ovations, on April 18, 2015, at Fort Tejon, Kern County, California. God speed our Brother on his journey through the Golden Hills.
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Have submissions, errata, or simply want to punch-out our cyber-geek for plastering your mug across the dark regions of the internet? Do it right here. And don't forget, you can join us electronically on Peter's Board, or drop us a line on Facebook. Either way, you'll have way plenty of room to join the discussion.
We are always looking for good things to add to this site, and for contribution from our members to Peter's Procs, our official chapter news letter. Active members receive the Procs by snail mail along with notices of upcoming events. If it's of interest to you, it may be good enough for us so don't be shy and send it to:
Clamp Crier Timbo Gillespie, Clampcrier@ecv1866.org
Have photos, comments or stories about a Clamper event you've attended? The PXL website is looking for pictures and comments to add to our site. Our events will be given priority for posting, but since many of us make it around Clamperdom let's make our presence known. Send your comment and digital photos with descriptions to our CyberRecorder-in-Chief:
Posting is restricted to the limits of good taste (though we've been accused of not having any), and to Grand Council Rules. Contact us if you have hard copy worth posting but needs to be scanned for the internet.
For more information contact:
Myrl "Doc" Wallace, NGH (805) 937-0156 or BigWallace@comcast.net
Al "The Quack" Price, VNGH (661) (661) 867-2414 or firstname.lastname@example.org
Dale "Top" Turner, Clampatriarch (661) 714-7203 or Dalefmda@earthlink.net
Mike "MGM" Ramirez-Mares, Cyberrecorder (818) 517-8781 or Cyberrecorder@ECV1866.org