Peter Lebeck Chapter #1866

Welcome Cloggites! By now it should be obvious that the PXL Fall Doin's is headed your way. If you haven't seen Timbo's Video Invitation, just shut the music off by clicking on the yellow hash marks on the music slider above and then click on Timbo's nose. Go ahead. You won't hurt him, we promise. But he will feel hurt and ultra-sensitive about the whole thing if you don't make it to our Fall Doin's the weekend of October 15th through 17th, 6015, when we've reserved a beautiful Clampsite in the Sequoia National Monument. Called "Camp Whitsett," it's perched in the Sierras about 35 miles north of Lake Isabella in the pine forests of the Sierra Nevada.

We have purposely peppered our web pages with all manner of information and reminders, so they'll be no excuses for not reading about our doin's and for not showing up. After all, we are in dire need of your help following the nasty fire that reduced our Hawker Store to an ash heap of Toxic Waste (YUCK!)

OH THE HUMANITY!!!

Well, that is a bit of an exaggeration -- seeing as how no one was killed, maimed or wounded -- but a loss of $10,000 worth of inventory represents a good chunk of our chapter's net worth, and it really puts a damper on next year's Golden Anniversary Celebration. Yep, it seems like only yesterday that I was in Sister Mary Elephant's morning session Kindergarten at Santa Rosa Catholic School, dreaming that one day I'd grow up to be a member of the soon to be established Peter Lebeck Chapter of E Clampus Vitus and now look what's happened!

But why despair? After all, we come from a very large family: With bunches and bunches of funny looking Brothers in red shirts whom Mom always loved best. So there is NO WAY I'm giving up on this one because all you guys have to do is drop whatever you are doing, and show up at PXL's Fall Clampout the weekend of October 15th. Your support will help keep one of the original southern California chapters alive and in the black (that is even after we've wiped off all the smudge marks). And it's not like I'm begging because a) I know that as our Brother you are just dying to help out, and b) we've got a great Clampout in a great location lined up for your enjoyment.

So please look around. There are several ways into our Clampout related offerings. If you click on the Fall Doin's Link in the link box, you'll end up at the web version of our flyer and directions, where you can print out the flyer and forms and also get a map. Or if you just want the paperwork without the comedy, just click on the flashing purple sign above. Either way you'll get is a pdf form that you can print out in blank, or that can be filled out using your keyboard and which will make life a lot easier for our Gold Dust Receiver

We've also created a separate audio invite page from which you'll be able to access information about Camp Whitsett, Clamping with PXL and the Grand Council Rules. It's a link we encourage you to copy, paste and pass on to the next Brother. And while you are at it, don't miss the Clampdown Clock, and Dickhead's latest version of Peter's Procs.

You say you are interested in helping but can't make our Fall Doin's? Then may I be so crass as to suggest feeding the sick jackass or buying an associate membership for a few bucks. We also will be putting out a pin dedicated to all the Brothers who pitch in as we recover from the loss of our store. So keep an eye out for that little bobble which will hopefully be coming to a hawker near you. We also expect to be printing a "Fire Recovery T-Shirt" which will be available starting with this doin's, and you'll be able to pre-order it just as soon as we can finalize the price.

If you are coming to the doin's then you can help us out by doing all of the following:

Preregister. We know you are a really, really special Brother but so are all the rest of your Brothers so show a little consideration. Early sign-up will take some of the stress off of Timbo and his cooking crew by ensuring an accurate count. So make sure to mail in your rub at least a week before the doin's. We're willing to give you a break on the rub for doing so.

Bring a PBC. This is the perfect time to hoodwink that special friend that you've always wanted to introduce to E Clampus Vitus, and PXL is a great place to bring him in. We won't dump him in the lake, cover him with noxious substances or make him wear a cow pie around his neck, but we do promise to hysterically humiliate him in a most satisfactory way. At Peter Lebeck every PBC gets the individual attention that he deserves, including a raucous solo examination before our graybeards and the fully assembled brethren. We're told it is one of the best shows in all of ECV.

Bring a Valuable Item to be Raffled or Auctioned on Saturday Night. Let's try to make this one special. It's time to dig in to your closet or garage and donate one of those items you've been saving for some special occasion that never quite seems to get here. Our store will benefit from your donation and we guarantee that you'll feel so much better about yourself on Sunday morning that you'll awake without a hangover. And let us know if you need a note for the IRS. We're a 501(c)(3) disorganization.

Help Restock Our Store. If you have pins, hats, patches, shirts or other Clamper gear that you aren't using and are willing to part with, bring it with you and donate it to our store. Apparel that is pre-washed can be hung out immediately, to give our store a fluffy look, and will help wipe that look of despair off the face of our Hawker.

Bring Something for the Widders and Orphans. We help support a battered women's shelter in Bakersfield that provides emergency protection to victims of domestic violence in the greater Kern County Area. These are women and children often arrive with nothing more than the clothes on their backs and are in dire need of personal hygiene items. So when you come to the doin's bring a little something extra for them. See Peter's Procs for further details on what to bring.

We are going to dispense with the usual humor on this go-round (meaning that our Brothers at Platrix get a pass this week). But we do want to draw your attention to a couple of items. First of all, we are still looking for a good slogan for our Hawker Fire Relief Fund. The winning slogan will likely be put on our T-Shirts and Pins commemorating the fire of 6015. So if you have any suggestions please post them ASAP to Peter's Board. And don't forget (like we'd let you) that the PXL message board is open to all Clampers in good standing for both comments and posting. Whether you have something to say or something to announce, Peter's Board is the place to do it. If you have any problems joining our message board or logging back on just email us by clicking on this link, and we'll fix you up as soon as possible.

We also have received several notices about doin's happening in and around Clamperdom. As soon as we get up to speed here we'll make sure they are added in some way to our site, most likely on Peter's Board. Our apologies for being a bit slow on this stuff. The flyer to the Bodie Doin's is now available for download on our amended CLOG post for July 2nd, 2010. And don't forget that you are always free to post your ECV chapter's doin's announcements on Peter's Board. We'd love to have you visit.

--MGM

BOGUS

Hello Brother and welcome back to the PXL CLOG. Peter Lebeck was seriously affected this past week by the fires raging here in Southern California, in which some of our members suffered losses, and in which our chapter lost its entire store. Fires which started in Acton, Agua Dulce, Tehachapi and the Riverkern areas have made a real mess of things, but despite all of that, we are still here and intend to keep on Clamping. Our trailer and kitchen remain safely parked in Bakersfield and we hope to use them in October when we have no intention of letting the year go by without our Fall Doin's. So here we go!

First on the ugly list is the Crown Fire which continues to smolder in the Palmdale area but which now appears to be under control. For those of you not familiar with the geography, Palmdale is at the south edge of the Antelope Valley which is the western-most portion of the Mojave Desert. Roughly 60 by 30 miles in size, A.V. includes the northern part of Los Angeles County north of the San Gabriel Montains, the southern part of Kern County south of the Tehachapis, and a small portion of western San Bernardino County.

The Crown Fire actually started in Agua Dulce which is just south of the Antelope Valley. The fire traveled quickly north over the southern ridge and down into a narrow canyon area called Leona Valley where Brother Joe Szot has a house on some ranch property. Fortunately Joe didn't lose his place, but he did lose his out buildings, travel trailer, two other trailers and the entire contents of our store valued at over $10,000. Our Brother "Big Al" Eastin also lost his Hobie Catamaran which he had parked on Joe's property.

Joe also tells us that because of the high fire danger in this area none of this stuff was insurable so long as his house was still under construction. So it looks like Joe, Al and the chapter are out of luck unless the contractor that started the fire has some pretty deep pockets. At least four homes have been lost so far, and that's just the start of the line at the courthouse door, meaning that our chapter's chances of recovering anything aren't looking so good. By the way we should also mention that Joe, Al and Dickhead each loaned the chapter the money to buy that now melted pile of Receivenators. Hopefully they at least kept a couple as demonstrator models because it looks like whatever survived the fire have just become collector's items.

By the way, Joe famously doesn't live on the Leona Valley property. He actually lives on a boat in San Diego near his daughter and son in law, but it doesn't look like having been on site would have made much difference. The Leona Valley really isn't so much a valley as it is a canyon, and as Joe tells it, the fire moved so quickly into this narrow area that a neighbor with horses was barely able to get out. By the time she had her four legged buddies loaded onto the trailer the fire was already threatening to jump the road and cut her off. We're just happy that it was just a bunch of T-shirts and man toys, and not Joe and his house. 'Nuff sed about that one for now.

Second on the ugly list is the Bull Fire, which began in the Sequoia National Forest near the town of Riverkern, which is north of Kernville in the northeast corner of Kern County. The fire burned several homes in the Riverkern area and quickly moved south towards Kernville and also east over the Sierras towards Inyokern. As of today this fire has burned over 16,000 acres and is 85% contained.

We were very much concern about our Clampatriarch Doc Charter and his wife, Marti who live in Kernville, and we were even more concerned when we were unable to reach them by phone. Fire destroyed local power and telephone lines and melted the area's two cell towers, leaving us without any effective way of reaching the Charters, that is until Friday, when Dale left a voicemail message letting us know that they were all right.

We were able to finally speak to Doc yesterday over a very iffy phone connection. Doc told us that as soon as he had a good read on the fire's potential for burning down his neighborhood, he sent Marti to the coast then stuck around as long as he could, watching the fire's progress as it jumped the river into the Kernville heights where the Charters live. Smoke grew extremely thick as the fire moved to within a block of the Charter Residence, and it became clear that aggressive tactics would be needed to save the homes in the heights. Hand crews deployed on the ground, literally standing guard on people's lawns and driveways, and air tankers and helicopters made drops on roofs, yards, and surrounding vegetation to keep the fire at bay. In the end the neighborhood - and our friends - were extremely lucky.

Now for ugly bit number three, and if you thought we were done with the Bull Fire, we're not. So listen up as it affects our Fall Clampout in October which we are trying to arrange for Camp Whisett. For those of you who aren't aware, Camp Whitsett is owned by the Western L.A. County Council of the Boy Scouts of America, and is available for private use in the off season for a very nominal fee. This is a beautiful place to spend the weekend. We Clamped there once before, back in 2005, when we plaqued "Road's End" on old Mountain Highway 99, near the Kern-Tulare county line. Located in the Sequoia National Monument, it has trees, plenty of space and a private lake. We are often asked by brothers who remember that outing back in the fall of 2005, "when are we going back to Camp Whitsett?"

Well we are hoping to go real soon, but here's the rub: The area has been affected by the Bull Fire. Camp Whitsett is north of Kernville, at the apex of the wide canyon that is the watershed for the Kern River and Lake Isabella. Think of it as a forested mountain area at the top of an upside down "V." According to Doc Charter, the Camp is still there, but power and phone services were knocked out by the fire so we won't know until later this week whether we can lock this location for our fall Clampout, but at the moment our prospects still look good, so keep your fingers crossed. If we can make Camp Whitsett work for us, we intend to invite every Redshirt within hailing distance to come on down and join us. With everyone's help we should be able to raise enough seed money to help revive our store. Make sure to check back soon for current news about our doin's.

So whatever happened to Clamping on the coast you say? Well it turns out that we so far have been unable to make that work for us. As some of you may recall from a few years back, Platrix owes us at least one outing in their territory after Grand Council ruled their Clamping on PXL terrain without our permission was a violation worthy of sanctions, one of them being a free overnight stay in Platrix Territory, which includes all of L.A., Orange and parts of Ventura Counties.

The problem is finding a suitable place within our means in a very developed and Ritzy area. With the help of Brother Walt "Mangler" Stowe, we did find a fine location on high ground near the Cuyama Valley, but that turned out to be both expensive and within the confines of De La Guerra y Pacheco, ECV Chapter 1.5, not Platrix. It would have taken at least a hundred Clampers at an extra $10 a head just to break even on that one. To be safe we would have had to have added $15 to the price of the rub, and that goes against our firm belief in keeping the gate as accessible as possible.

Alternatives? Well one possibility is a piece of land in Ventura County owned by a friend of PXL Brother Ira Stone. Well Ira lives up in Tehachapi and likely has his own issues as fires continue to rage out of control. But after the Humbug spoke to Ira this past week we did let Ira know that we remain interested. But get this. While keping this site in mind for a future event we also understand that the place may have already have been plaqued by (guess who?) Platrix! But never fear! Our Humbug, the redoubtable Timbo Gillespie has come up with a great new method for any future PXL monument for this site. He calls it "Plaquing Prophylaxis."

It works something like this. You go out and reconnoiter the previous erection as an officially designated "ECV plaquing preservationist." You measure the monument and build a plywood form slightly larger than the original. Then you affix the new plaque to the form, place the form over the old monument, pour the concrete, and voilà! A Cement CONDOM! It's enough to make a Clamper weep!

As Timbo points out, this method has some very distinct advantages. For one, it saves on cement, rebar and other building materials; and it permanently protects the underlying erection as all self-respecting condoms should do. No more prying that old bronze plate out of the monument for scrap metal. In fact thieves will hardly know it's still there for the stealing. The underlying monument will be invisible, impenetrable, and better preserved following encasement using PXL's new prophylactic plaquing method. So Platrix, what do you say? Are you with us on this one? Hearing no objection, I think that means "yes."

A few last minor points before we go. Some Brother calling himself "Anonymous" continues to challenge our claim to Tierra del Fuego and wants to see our proof. So here it is, Bro'. Notice how proudly XNGH Clemonsson stands up for his chapter. Go ahead. Just click on the picture and check it out. We have nothing to hide.

With Tierra del Fuego and the three adjoining oceans safely annexed as PXL Territory we'll be able to claim Manhattan. All we have to do is petition Grand Council and find a few bankers on Wall Street greedy enough to sell us the island for a few used T-Shirts and other donated Clamper memorabilia that did not perish in the fire. So to everybody else who doubts our intentions, I have only two words to say, "Goldman Sachs."

Now for mailing lists. Somehow I ended up on the Sam Brannan mailing list. Chapter #1004, is up in Napa, and while I've never been to one of their doin's (and may never get that far north in my Clamping travels), I'm happy and proud to post any recognized chapter's flyers and announcements on Peter's Board. So don't expect to be getting a sick jackass fee from me any time soon, but do feel free to mail us any correspondence, either by snail or email and I'll post it for you. And remember that you are always free to post your doin's announcements yourself on Peter's Board. That's why it's there.

Lastly, we'll really need your support in the fall, especially after the hit we took with the loss of our store. So check back often and make sure to sign up for our fall event. We really want to see you there.

--MGM

Hello fellow Cloggites, and welcome back to the PXL Clog! First off, on behalf of the Humbug and all your brothers here at Peter Lebeck, we wish you one and all a happy and safe Fourth of July. So stoke the Bar-Bee, have a few brewskis, and enjoy the company of family and friends. And while you are at it, don't forget to take the time to remember and pray for our troops whose sacrifices make it possible for us to enjoy times like these.

Here in Kern County the temperatures in Bakersfield pushed into the three digits this week, and while relief from the heat of the valley floor can be had by retreating into the mountains, there is no denying that summer is in full swing. The kids are out of school and the big boys are itching for something to do. For PXL that means not having a whole lot to report since our Clampouts happen in the spring and fall, but that doesn't mean that there is nothing to talk about.

If you want something to do, just keep your eye on Peter's Board where ECV members and chapters are always welcome to post their activities. Whether you are looking for Clamping company or just looking to advertise your event, that's what the board is there for, so allow me to refresh your recollection with a few quick notes.

This 4th of July weekend there are at least two events that you might be interested in. Up at Bodfish, here in the mountains south of Lake Isabella, our Brother Jay Corlew is celebrating his 20th year as proprietor of the Silver City Ghost Town with Wild West show performances both Saturday and Sunday by the Tombstone Law Dawgs. Showtimes are at 11 a.m. and 1 p.m., and the show is free with the modest price of admission: $4.50 for adults, $3.50 for kids, escourted children under 5 get in free. If you present an ECV I.D. card you'll even get a small discount just for being family. All proceeds go towards the expense of restoring and preserving the historic buildings that make up the ghost town. No tax dollars are used to operate Silver City. You can download the press release here.

On Saturday, July 3rd, our brothers at Billy Holcomb will be sponsoring a float in the Jamboree Days/4th of July Parade at Crestline, sponsored by the Crestline Chamber of Commerce. Our brother Karl White, StoreKeeper at Billy Holcomb, informs us that this is a family friendly event. Dress in your Clamper best and bring the Widder and Orphans. The float will stage at approximately 9:00 a.m., with the parade scheduled to begin at 10. If you care to join the parade, Rendezvous at the Rim of The World Tavern in Crestline, at Crest Forest and Highway 138, but be there by 8:30 a.m. Rim Tavern is "EVC Friendly" and owned by Brother Cliff Herington and his Widder Robyn. After the parade make a day of it taking in the sights at Crestline. For directions see the "All Things Clamp'sidered" Board > "Float with Holcomb" thread.

If you happen to be up in Oakhurst (near Fresno), or live in the Madera County Area, you'll want to drop by the Grub Gulch fireworks stand. Brother Mule Skinner, aka Steve Schermerhorn, CyberRecorder for 41-49, tells us that the chapter will be using the proceeds from its fireworks sales to support it monument program, and hopes to continue doing this on a yearly basis. The stand is located on the corner of Howard Avenue and Granada in Oakhurst. The Grubbies could also use a little brotherly help manning the booth from now until it closes, so if you care to man-up call Dave Bohall at (559) 217-8312 or (559) 974-9230, and don't forget to check out Steve's Grub Gulch website. It's quite impressive.

Later in the month, July 24th to be exact, the Frank C. Reilly chapter, which occupies the lower quadrant of Plumas County, will be having its one day summer Clampout at La Porte, northeast of Sacramento. At an elevation of nearly 5000 feet, La Porte is right in the middle of the Plumas National Forest, where the summer weather is quite tolerable. To help you maintain your sobriety (and your driving privileges) camp sites are available at nearby Little Grass Valley Lake, a very popular and very beautiful wooded mountain retreat, so you want to make your reservations early before the campsites are all gone. Follow this link to the flyer.

Last but not least on our list is the Humbug's personal request that I post the late summer doin's for Bodie Chapter #64. Bodie occupies Mono County and takes its name from the famous ghost town and its namesake, W.S. Bodey. Brother Steve "Frugal" St. John, informs us that the bad men from Bodie will be gathering to dedicate a monument to the "Legend of the June Lake Slot Machines." This Clampout is also a one day affair, with the plaquing set to take place on September 11th, at the parking lot of the missing Lookout Tower at the Oh Ridge turnoff on Highway 158. The Slippery will be conducted at a separate location. Stevo promised us a flyer as soon as available and it looks like he's come through. So just click here to download the flyer, or you can call NGH Jeremy Silver Ross at (760) 914-2858, or GNR John Daniels at (760) 932-7023, to give them a piece of your mind.

By now you are probably wondering, "When is he going to get around to ragging on Platrix?" Well the way I figure it, that screed ought happen right about here and right about now, but the truth is that ever since Humbug Paul Meitzler showed-up at Grand Council with our Brothers' most satisfactory peace offering, I really haven't had the heart to stick it to them. But you know I gotta say something, so if nothing else a little whining is in order; and I can think of no better subject for whinning than the minute of the Proctors' Meeting at Grand Council.

If you read carefully you'll note that there is a whole lot of gifting and obsequious supplication going on, and not all of it by Platrix. Still the whole thing remained tolerable, that is until chapters start asking for stuff; and in the case Platrix and Queho Posse it involved a franchise ON THE MOON.

Yep. The proctors have awarded our brothers at Platrix extra-terrestrial rights as "Stewards of Tranquility Base and Protectors of the Moon," plus 90% of "gaming rights" have been awarded to Queho Posse to shut them up after their nearly successful attempts to table the motion. Given the obvious collusion between these two chapters we can hardly expect any wild game on the moon to be safe from the predations of our Brothers from Las Vegas and Southern California. So here's a warning: Gidny, Cloyd, and all of your decendants, you'd best pack up now, for you can hardly expect any help from the likes of Platrix and Q.P. It's now open season on Moon Men. Hey, in Vegas they even shoot dice. "Protectors of the Moon," indeed!

Well if Platrix can do it, so can we. It's been almost two years, but our XNGH Bob Clemensson, made a trek to Tierra del Fuego in 2008, and claimed the tip of South America as PXL Territory. In fact, in my humble opinion, it is high time that our Graybeards petition the ECV Board of Proctors to recognize our annexation and grant us full sovereignty over this newest southern boundary of Kern County. Afterall the benefits are enormous. Consider for instance that up until recently Kern County has been landlocked while Platrix has had both Malibu and Laguna Beach to brag about. While Platrix could continue to flaunt its beach bunnies, PXL would have pengins. And instead of just one ocean, PXL would have three, including highly prized access and contiguity to the Atlantic Ocean, a boast that no other ECV Chapter could make. And while it is true that Platrix and Q.P. would have the Sea of Tranquility all to themselves, keep in mind that it's really, really hard to sunbath in a moon suit. Hands down I think PXL has the inside on this one, and it's high time we circulated a petition to finally make it happen. Next up? We annex Manhattan!

Speaking of Clemensson, Bob reminds us with the accompanying photgraphs that the big blowout in the Gulf is no isolated incident. These things come and go, and with a little luck and good weather, wenting time could come on schedule with the runaway well finally being plugged once and for all in early August. And while a good clog is hardly the beginning of the end for this mess, it hopefully will be at least the end of the beginning, so for now we are going to leave the live streaming video at the top of this page and hope that things start to look less dramatic, real soon.

2010 is the 100th Anniversary of the Lakeview Gusher, one of the worst Blowouts in American History, and it happened right here in Kern County between Taft and Maricopa. Click on the photograph of the plaque to get a good look. Back in 1910 a guy dubbed "Dryhole Charlie" nearly gave up on this well and was forced to sell it to Union Oil which finished the drilling and promptly put this well in the record books. At its peak the runaway well gushed more than 100,000 barrels a day, threatened to ruin the local water supply and creating a tremendous fire hazzard. The Los Angeles Times recently ran a story on the Lakeview disaster, complete with a photo of the artificial lake used as a giant sump. according to this article an estimated 378 million gallons escaped before the well was finally brought under production. We've preserved a copy of the story for you here in pdf form.

Lastly a little local news. We are still hoping to find a place to Clamp along the coast in the fall, but we may have to pass this year due to the lack of a suitable location within our means. While a joint doin's with a coastal chapter is always a possibility, that kind of planning would likely put such a doin's at least a year down the road; but then again, never say never. So if you have any suggestions, feel free to call our Humbug, Timbo Gillespie at (714) 936-8650.

Also our Hawking Crew of Joe Szot and Gene Duncker would like to thank our Brothers at Slim Princess for their hospitality at their recent doin's at Diaz Lake. Both Joe and Gene (aka Dickhead) send their regards. Dickhead regrets that he couldn't stay the whole weekend, and it certainly meant that he had to stay sober for the drive home, but he only had good things to say about the brothers at the doin's and is likely to remeber a whole lot more of you the next time around due to his enforced state of sobriety. So here's hoping that all of you can make it down our way in the fall. And that goes for every brother of E Clampus Vitus. We'll leave a steak out for you. In the meantime if you'd like to join our email list just click on my happy smiling face below. You'll know what to do.

--MGM

Welcome to PXL's Memorial Day CLOG. Timbo's videoed thank you message has been preemted -- we hope only for a short time -- so we can bring you live pictures from the SPILLCAM. I'll refrain from being political only to say that the Gulf Oil Disaster has caused much consternation across the country and Clampers are no exception. So here's hoping that this thing comes to a rapid conclusion, whether it's spunked, junked or otherwise stopped-up. We just want you all to know that here at PXL we believe in CLOG; unfortunately the latest word out of BP is that multiple Top Kill and Junk Shot attempts have failed and the company will once again try to place a bell-like cap over the well. Thanks to brothers Muley and Keyhole for help with the video feed.

Listen -- Rep. Markey: BP Understated Spill and Overstated its Ability to Control It.

Read -- Feds Weigh Possible Criminal Probe Over BP Mistatements.

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Just a reminder. If you are going Clamping don't forget to post a message on Peter's Board. Others brothers may be interested and this is a great way to find out who else is going. Currently several PXL Brothers are headed to the Slim Princess #395 Doin's at Diaz Lake, June 11-13, 2010, so check the All Things Clamp'sidered sub-board for details. Remember that Peter's Board is open to all Clampers in good standing so even if you are not a PXL Member you still have an open invitation to post any ECV sanctioned doin's to our All Things Clamp'sidered sub-board.

And speaking of boards, the brothers at Slim Princess have recently added their own message board. you'll find it at http://members.ecv395.org Congratulations to Brother Roadbeer on that one.

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That said, and as summer starts, we hope you have a safe and enjoyable Memorial Day Weekend. Take a minute to reflect on the price of freedom, and what it costs to preserve and maintain it. Thank a veteran. And don't forget to be grateful for what we have and who we are. For while we may bicker about the direction of our country and the solutions required to meet today's challenges -- whether they be oil slicks or Taliban or the uncetainties of changing world markets -- we are still Americans, and can ill afford to throw away what has been gained for us by the efforts of so many.

In the Gettysburg Address, Lincoln recognized America as both a great adventure and a great experiment -- a clever, adaptive and radical political invention based on personal liberty, that even a 145 years after Lincoln's passing remains a revolutionary ideal. His challenge, laid down on that winter's day at Gettysburg, is timeless:

"It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us -— that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion —- that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain -— that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom—and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth."

As ever, it will remain for us to fulfill our potential and to be the Shining City on the Hill. It is why Americans have sacrificed, and it is something we should never forget.

--MGM

Hello Brother, and welcome to this post-Grand Council Edition of the PXL Clog. This won't be a long post, but it hopefully contains a few hairballs worthy of your consideration. So here we go. And don't forget to click on the pictures and link. You may get a surprise.

First of all thanks to everyone who attended Grand Council this past week. We hope you had as good a time as we did. To prove it, we actually posted our GC pictures extra early this year, so early in fact that we don't even have last year's pictures up yet. So enjoy. Just go to the Outies Page of Peter's Picture Pages to get an eyeful. Thanks to VNGH Ron Naucke for his sober-eyed camera work.

We also want to compliment our crew for putting on Friday night's free no-calorie spaghetti dinner held in memory of our late Brother Ken "Cookie" Young. While it is hard to believe that it's been two years since Kenny left for the Golden Hills, it seems like yesterday and is one of our saddest memories to have lost him right after Grand Council 2008.

That said we had a couple of pleasant surprises that made our unofficial 2010 Grand Council event that much more special. First was the attendance of Linda "Hazel" Johnson, spouse of our departed brother Cookie. Many a Clamper and his Widder dropped by over the weekend to visit with Hazel and pay their respects. She is a very special friend to all of us here at PXL.

We also settled up with our brothers at Platrix for their recent unauthorized incursion into our Clamping Domain (see our most recent post below for details). As agreed, the Graybeards of Platrix paid-up.

In fact they did much better than that. Current Platrix NGH Paul Meitzler and longtime Platrix Graybeard Phil Nadler dropped by on Friday afternoon and brought the proposed peace offering plus a nice quantity of some most satisfactory Chianti. Check out the photograph. That's our own XNGH Don Johnson coveting a pair of really BIG jugs. So you know I just gotta say it, so here it comes, "Nice JUGS PLATRIX!"

So Brother Paul stuck around to break bread and had a little vino with our Graybeards, which was more than enough to seal the deal, even for Brother "Sultan of Swat" Joe Szot who has called off his ever vigilant SWAT Team. Paul is also now a PXL Associate Member which entitles him to no less disrespect than the rest of us deserve. So next time you see Paul, make sure to buy him a cold one and make sure he gets what's coming to him.

On the official side of Grand Council, we have several feel good stories to report. First off, our Clamper of the Year for 2010 is XSNGH Rod Stock of Julia C. Bulette, #1864. Rod has busted his bahancas to earn this honor, so we want to congratulate Rod and thank him for his tireless efforts in promoting ECV over the years.

Next is a shout out to our slate of new ECV Sublime Officers whose greatest wish is that someone would wake them up and let them go back to herding cats. PXL friend, benefactor, and Platrix Greybeard, Glenn Thornhill is our new Sublime Noble Grand Humbug; Gary Glud has been elevated to the Office that Shall Remain Nameless; and Bob Romer is our new Sublime Noble Grand Recorder. While new to the Board of Proctors is Dan Barger from Tuleburg who has been selected to fill the office being vacated by our brother, Junior Madrid. Congratulations to all.

E Clampus Vitus also has added two new chapters, and promoted an outpost from fledgling to provisional. Snake River #1811 of Idaho and Umqua Joe #1859 of Oregon have both been granted the rights to full ECV Chapterhood, with a charter doin's for each to be announced soon. The John A. Sutter Outpost #1841, of Sacramento County, is also to be congratulated for its upgrade to provisional status, so keep up the hard work brothers and don't forget to watch out for "Bares." You'll need all the help you can get.

On a personal note, we want to give a Laurel and Hardy handshake to our brother Bob "Barbarosa" Haines who will be Snake River's first Noble Grand Humbug. Barbarosa has been ECV's apostle to Idaho, ramrodding the efforts of the Snake River contingent towards full chartered status. Bob is also a son of Peter Lebeck, having come in at PXL with Dickhead as his sponsor. So keep an eye on this space because when Snake River has its charter doin's sometime in September, a bunch of us will be headed for Idaho to personally congratulate Bob for a job well done.

Last on the mostly official side was the appearance of our Brother IRJR before the assembled council. Just in case you don't know who JR is, his given name is Jim Reynolds, and more than anyone, he has been responsible for the Clamper presence on the Net. If you've been to the ECV Gazette, the Sand Box or the ECV White pages, then you've been on a site invented by JR, much of it hand coded in PERL back in the day when the features you see there, such as manipulation of the databases that comprise the Sandbox, could only be done by guys who could actually do computer programming.

Anyway, JR has been through some rough times of late. Two years ago he was stricken with cancer which required radical lung surgery and chemotherapy, and now his Widder Sally is in need of a liver transplant, putting great strain on the family's finances. In fact if you've been to the ECV Gazette of late then you've seen the Rally for Sally links, and it seemed that everybody in Clamperdom had seen them - everybody that is except for JR. The website administrators had put them up without telling JR, and JR had been too preoccupied to notice.

So it was with great emotion that Jim Reynolds asked for and was granted permission to address Grand Council and to thank the Graybeards for the support that ECV has show for Sally. JR spent very little time at the doin's - maybe three or four hours total - but his presence will not soon be forgotten. We wish them both well.

Now for three last little tidbits before we sign off. Jeannie Johnson and Jolinda Naucke (wo)manned the crafts booth that Jeannie had been planning for over a year, selling handmade items crafted with the ECV Widder in mind. We want to thank them both for their hard work and for astutely recognizing the value of a widders' booth. While it's easy for the guys to buy t-shirts and pins from the assembled chapter hawkers, there really isn't much going on for the ladies so our PXL Crafts Booth has turned out to be something quite special.

The PXL Homepages continue to undergo improvement. Brother "Zeus" Garibay has joined our webgeek contingent and will be working on our Plaque History Pages starting with recent Humbug biographies, so welcome Zeus. And in case you missed it, check out the Plaque History for a close-up view of our latest Tehachapi erection.

We have also given some much needed attention to our Ye Page of Brasse collection.

While the page still has quite a ways to go, we've dusted off some of our videos and put them out there for a reprise, along with some additional links of interest. I know some you have given me stuff over the last couple of years in hopes of seeing it put up somewhere, well Ye Page of Brasse is the most likely somewhere for much of this stuff. So check back on occasion for updates.

Lastly there is the tale of Timbo's Car. Our Noble Grand Humbug has the darndest luck. It seems that on one of his most recent wandering to the mid-west Timbo bought this raffle ticket. The darn thing cost him $20 and it probably seemed like a dumb idea immediately after he purchased it, but then again, they weren't supposed to sell more than a thousand total and it seemed to be for a good cause - The British Transportation Museum.

But guess what? Timbo won! But if you're thinking "British Transportation," hopefully you're not thinking double-decker bus or even Rolls-Royce. No…were talking about a vintage 1974 MGB-GT Hatchback Coupé. The bigger problem is that the British Transportation Museum is in DAYTON, OHIO.

But, hey. No worries. At least it's not in London. Now all Timbo has to worry about is showing up in Dayton, Ohio (much closer than London), collecting his prize, and then moving his new ride 2,200 miles to sunny Southern, California. By the way, if you are wondering why there seems to be a paucity of vintage British sports cars on the road these days, it might have had something to do with their famed "reliability."

Some guys have all the luck.

--MGM

Hello Brother and welcome back to the PXL Clog. In this edition we have all the latest news and scuttlebutt - plus a little drama - concerning poaching and treachery at the Loop. You'll want to learn all the juicy details so make sure you read the whole thing.

First off we want to thank all of you who made our Clampout and dedication at Tehachapi a solid success. Seventy of us spent the weekend as guests of the Benz-Visco Sports Center, where the brothers of PXL and their PBCs were provided plenty of room to Clamp, including the luxury of an amphitheatre for our cook shack, a dramatic echo chamber for our Graybeards' Examination, and generous space for our RVs and tents. The weather also held up, with sunny skies during the day and daytime temperatures in the mid-60's to 70's. The evenings were a bit chilly, freezing actually, in part due to the wind, but Timbo tell us that the next time we head up that way he expects the city fathers to do a better job of turning off the fans.

As for our Spring Erection, our plaque now stands proudly at the east end of Railroad Park in Downtown Tehachapi, and celebrates both the geography and the over one hundred years of history that belongs to this most important pathway through California.

As for the physical monument itself, Timbo and his crew poured the thing earlier in the week, when temperatures were below freezing and daytime precipitation was in the form of that little white sticky stuff that makes it look a lot like Christmas. So make sure you thank Timbo and the Brothers - Roadrunner, Doc and Sawdust -- when you see them, and commend then for a job well done.

The CLOG would also like to mention a few important highlights from this doin's. First of all we'd like to welcome to PXL four new members of E Clampus Vitus, who braved the rocky road to Dublin and had the scales of blindness lifted from their eyes. They are Robert J. Hernandez, son of our brother, Robert "Bababooey" Hernandez; Matt "Wood Butcher" Kmetz, who says he's a carpenter (though we think we saw him featured in SAW II), Joe "Smalls" Rivera, whom we recognize as a man with a "driving" ambition, and, last but not least, Dennis "Snort" Wahlstrom, who works for the City of Tehachapi. In fact we want to thank Dennis for his contribution to our erection. His "bribe" to the graybeards was a donation of the concrete needed to erect our Tehachapi monument, a solid contribution if we ever needed one. So to each and all of these new brothers of our Ancient and Honorable Order of E Clampus Vitus - we wish you welcome! (Just hold the fries on that one).

We also want to thank our Brother, Russ "Hole" Chapman, for providing the most absurd and hilarious entertainment on Friday and Saturday nights. Hole brought his ELMO, his laptop and his sense of humor, and provides us with a slide and video show which had us roaring in the aisles. Just as amazing, he brought the entire kit in that little trailer of his, though we strongly suspect that in order to make room he was forced to leave his entire troop of circus clowns at home.

Anywho, some of the guys had seen Brother Hole do this kind of thing at the Trichapter and invited him to perform his shtick at Tehachapi. We were very, very impressed. And mind you, we'll never look at Paris Hilton in the same way again. We also expect Dickhead to go to confession.

We also want to thank each and every Brother who put a couple of bucks in the can in support of the families who lost loved ones in the recent West Virginia coal mining disaster. PXL has sent $125 to the West Virginia Council of Churches' Montcoal Disaster Fund. If you missed the can, don't fret. Your further contributions are appreciated. Just click on the link above.

Last on this subject are the pictures from this Doin's. We've processed over 300 of them, and we hope we've caught you in some very embarrassing and compromising situations - or not. In either case, Ron "Inspector" Naucke has the photos and has divided them into four galleries. He's posted some of them already so check Peter's Picture Pages this week to see why your mother said you shouldn't drink.

We'd also like to remind you that reading and posting to our message board -- Peter's Board -- is a great way to keep in touch with you Brothers here at PXL. We'd love to hear from you whether you consider yourself a member of PXL or not. Sign-up takes less than five minutes and you get instant access to our on-line message board where you can vetch, whine or simply joke around. We may even take you seriously if you're not careful. So take advantage of the space to do all of the above. We'll see you on the board.

And if you have digital photos that you'd like to share with us, don't forget that we've added a new feature to our webpages called Peter's Port Hole. You'll find the link on our picture page. Just follow the link to the Port Hole where you'll be able to upload photos, scan and documents which may be too large to post by email.

Now for news of Treachery and Poaching in high places. As you likely know the Tehachapi Valley sits at an elevation of about 3800 feet, yet we were shocked, SHOCKED! To learn that our Brothers from Platrix had ONCE AGAIN poached on our territory by Clamping adjacent to the Tehachapi Loop without first asking our permission. AND to add insult to injury they did it on the same weekend as our own Clampout in Tehachapi!

Hearing of this great flatulence upon our lands, your trusty PXL graybeards sprang into action. A conclave was called, after which XNGH Joe "Roadrunner" Szot prepared a team of trusty redshirts with the intent of visiting "Shock and Awe" upon the Platrix Clamp. With a newly added super-duper, double secret weapon in his arsenal, Roadrunner, (now rechristened PXL's "Sultan of Swat,") called for volunteers and quickly assembled the "Daryl 'PXL' Gates Memorial Swat Team." Only word from our Humbug would be needed to launch the Brothers into action. Credo Quia Absurdum!

But hoping to salvage our historic connection to our Platrix Brothers, and in the spirit of CQA, our Humbug deigned to give the suckers one more chance, and assembled a treating party comprised of XNGH Steve Born, Dave "Fearless" Kerr, Tim "Dr. Tortoise" Denton, and Yours Truly, in order to serve notice upon their Graybeards that we meant to have satisfaction. So off to Keene we went.

After arriving at the Platrix Clampsite we found their unsuspecting Graybeards conveniently ensconced in a trailer, examining their PBCs. This allowed the treating party to take them very much by surprise. Making our entrance through a side door, we presented our demands -- in writing -- to Humbug Paul "Bartab" Metzler. The bottom line: Pay damages of $1866.00 for squatting on PXL territory or experience the pain of "Shock and Awe."

After a labored, in camera discussion amongst the 'beards this was their response:

"We are not using our member's land to fxxk, just to Clamp. However we are honored to respect our brothers from PXL (piss pour [sic] bear wrestlers) by supplying the following libations:

1.75 Maker's Mark

" Jack Daniels

" Southern Comfort

To be delivered at Grand Council.

By unanimous decree of the Graybeards of Platrix Chapter No. 2

'The Queen of the Cow Counties'

P.S. Next time use paper or parchment, not cheap cardboard."

Our Graybeards have taken this offer to heart and are considering their options. Platrix's offer of Southern Comfort appears to be in honor of our late Brother Kenny Young, and an obvious play upon our heartstrings. A cheap shot? Maybe. But from all indications the PXL shot callers though weakened a bit, remain on the fence and so far remain split. So Platrix, expect an answer by this weekend's Grand Council. Until then, Brothers of PXL, keep your swatters at the ready.

We also want to advise everyone (including our Brothers from a certain nearby cow chapter) that you are all invited to the Kenny Young Memorial Spaghetti Feed set for Friday night, May 14th, at Grand Council. Just head for the PXL Clampsite about 7 p.m. for a FREE helping of spaghetti, salad, and bread, in honor of our late Cookie Emeritus, XXNGH Kenny Young. Bring your own libations, but if you care to share, a little vino would be a most excellent thing. A santé!

This coming June 11th through 13th, about a month after Grand Council, Roadrunner and Dickhead are headed up Hwy 395 to the Slim Princess Doin's at Diaz Lake, just south of Lone Pine. They could use some help with the hawking so if anyone cares to join them just give either of them a call or drop them a line on Peter's Board. Just be advised that for this doin's you will have to pay for your own camping space at the lake in addition to the rub charged by 395. Check Peter's Board for the flyer and further details.

And then of course, there's our Fall Doin's. We are hoping to go somewhere nice where we've never Clamped before. Timbo, along with our Brother, Walter "Mangler" Stowe, are working on several leads with an eye towards Clamping in the mountains near the coast -- maybe even in Platrix Territory. When things finally start to firm up, you'll read about it here first, on the PXL CLOG.

So until next time, Peace OUT!

-- MGM

.

Here's a quick progress report on this weekend's PXL doin's. Our black granite Tehachapi plaque is back from the fabricator, and it's a beauty. The stone is one of our largest at a height of almost two and a half feet and has the PXL Emblem prominently displayed at the top. Timbo, Szot and a few monument volunteers will be at Tehachapi's Railroad Park on Thursday morning at 8 a.m. to mount our next erection. Anyone who cares to join them is most certainly welcome. Bring a camera and a shovel if you have them.

Dickhead Weather Central predicts that weather for our monument's construction could be a bit moist, with a small, 30% chance of rain and snow showers predicted for Thursday, but a respectable daytime high of 47 degrees. The forecast for our doin's is most promising, with weather for Friday, Saturday and Sunday predicted to be sunny and mild, with daytime highs in the 60's and nighttime lows in 40's, making for one dog nights in a place with a three dog reputation. Keeping warm will be all the more easy as burn barrels will be allowed, so bring plenty of wood to keep those fires toasty and to help the B.S. flow more easily at night.

And while we don't expect it to rain, you're still encouraged to bring your walking around boots as the ground could be a bit wet from earlier in the week, including the possibility of snow from Thursday's weather shenanigans. Just keep in mind that we don't expect any snow to last long once thing begin to warm up on Friday, so make your snowballs early and avoid anything with a yellow tinge. We know what Clampers like to do in the snow (yuck). There's also plenty of blacktop at the Visco Center and a concrete amphitheatre so we have plenty of room to improvise if need be. See you there.

If you missed our most recent doin's post, make sure you keep reading for more important information about our spring Clampout at Tehachapi!

Welcome Brother Cloggite, please make yourself at home and take a few minutes to read the latest announcements from your brothers here at PXL. If you want to learn the secret of the bean burrito song you'll have to read to the end of this latest post. But hey, that's life.

First up is the obvious big one. Our Spring Doin's is a week from Friday. We'll be headed to Tehachapi on April 23rd for a two-night Clampout and a Sunday erection in downtown Tehachapi in honor of the fortuitous location of the pass and the city's one hundredth anniversary. Everything is freeway close so we expect a very nice turnout.

If you suspect you're coming please RSVP as soon as possible, and don't forget to get your dust in the mail if you want to take advantage of our prepay discount. You can use the new electronic sign-up on the flyer page to let us know you plan to attend. A PXL Clampout is usually under a 100 guys, so getting a good count is extremely important to us when it comes to acquiring grub. If we get it wrong the late comers may find themselves snipe hunting while everybody else is eating handcut rib eyes on Saturday Night.

Also keep in mind that our website is loaded with all the information you'll need. By going to our flyer page you can not only read all about the doin's, but also download a pdf copy of the flyer as well as directions for how to get there and where to send your rub. You 'll also find phone numbers and email addresses for Timbo, Ron and Dickhead, who'll be able to answer all of your questions; as well as links to the Grand Council Rules, a glossary for your PBC to memorize and information about the Tehachapi Plaque. For information about our new, experimental doggie policy click the 2010 Spring Doin's link on Peter's Board.

Speaking of email, it's now official, our Clampatriarch, Doc Charter, has finally split the sheets with Microsoft over Doc's Hotmail account. Call it "irreconcilable differences," but after being locked out for the second time, Doc has finally given up on using his web browser for email and has come over to the red shirted side of the force. So from now on you can email Doc at ClamperDoc@PeterLebeckECV.com. Doc knows that if he has similar issues in the future he can just call me up and give me a piece of his @#&$* mind knowing I speak American (He also knows I'll hang up on him if he p____s me off).

So if you find yourself in a similar Doc-like situation, or you just want a cool name for your email, just remember your friends here at PXL. Contact me and I can set you up with an account on our PXL email server just like Doc's, and if you've asked me before you might already have one and not even know it.

We also want to remind you all that we are an eleemosynary fraternal organization, which is a fancy way of saying that we really do care about the widders and orphans. So we are asking the brothers to consider the less fortunate and bring a little something extra in your kits when you come to Tehachapi. Locally we lend our support to a battered woman's shelter here in Kern County which provides refuge to women and children who have had to leave home in a hurry, and that often means having left with nothing more than the clothes on their backs. So what we ask is that you speak to your own widder and see what the two of you can provide in the way of personal hygiene items that a woman in a shelter situation would sorely need: Stuff like shampoo, baby wipes, tampons and tooth paste. Size doesn't matter. Even travel size is OK. One item can make a difference, whether it's from Macy's, the 99¢ Store or the sample aisle at Target. Your gift will be very much appreciated.

We are also very mindful of last week's disaster in Montcoal, West Virginia, where 29 coal miners perished in the worst U.S. mine accident in a generation. Aside from our symbolic connection to these men (and from what I could find out from the internet it appears that all those that died were men), West Virginia is the land of Ephraim Bee, the founder of E Clampus Vitus. For these reasons our Humbug has decreed that we pass the can in honor of these lost miners and for the immediate needs of their families. All proceeds will be sent to the West Virginia Council of Churches, Montcoal Disaster Fund. While we may not be able to contribute millions we can at least show solidarity with our fellow Americans in their time of need.

On a more cheery note, the Central Valley Tri-Chapter was last weekend and about 15 of our PXL members showed up in support. As for myself I regrettably couldn't make it, although I am told that one of the great benefits of being a guest is that you don't have to work so hard at putting on a doin's, so maybe next year I'll haul my butt up to road, plunk it in the creek and watch Brother Stinky's Studebaker go by. Congratulation to our Trichapter brethren on another great doin's. Our Brother Steve "Muleskinner" Schermerhorn, webmaster at Grub Gulch, has posted photos if you want to have a look. Our own PXL brother and VNGH, Ron "Inspector" Naucke also took a few of his own, so we'll make an effort to get those up on our own site real soon.

We also want to welcome back our friend and brother "Dollar Bill" Lonergan who has missed a couple of doin's while doing battle with a flare-up of the Big "C." He's in remission now and doing much better. We are very glad to see Bill back in the mix, and we expect to see him, his calming disposition, and his son Blair (aka "Fiddy Cent") up at Tehachapi. Make sure to say "hi" when you see these guys.

Now for the (exciting) technical news. For those of you who have digital pictures on your computer that you'd like to send to us and you don't mind doing it one snapshot at a time we now have a special webpage called "Peter's Porthole" that will allow you to do just that. To find it, just click on Peter's Picture Pages in the links box on the left. Just read the first paragraph underneath the dancing bear and you'll find the link to the Porthole. Anyone who knows how to locate a file on his own computer will find this super simple to use. Much thanks again to Brother Muleskinner for his help on this one.

Now as a near final note, we hope you all got to hear Timbo's resonant voice on our invite page. If not, turn on your speakers and take in his sparkling invitation. Timbo has one of the greatest resonant voices in all of Clamperdom and we'll be making more use of his talents as we revamp some of our older offerings, so be on the lookout for Timbo on the web. We strongly suspect that Geico commercials featuring Timbo will soon be the latest thing.

Now for the Bean Burrito dénouement. The lyrics date from our Spring Doin's at Woody in 2005 when due to the proximity of civilians, our PBCs were not allowed to sing some of our more bawdy and sacrilegious offerings like the now verboten "Hididiety" mentioned in the Grand Council Rules. We made up the lyrics on the spot and have been singing them ever since. The video above is from the Fall 4-Way in CalNevAri , Nevada, where the 70+ candidates got the lyrics right on their first attempt. They later sang it as part of their graybeards examination. It was awesome.

See you at Tehachapi.

--MGM

Hello Brothers and welcome back to the PXL CLOG! Just a few quick notes and notices in this round of the CLOG. The Spring Clamping season will soon be here so time to get our jackasses in order.

March 20th, PXL will be having our Spring General Membership Meeting at Fort Tejon at 12 noon. We'll be meeting in the Tack Room, which is quite rustic so bring a chair, a cozy jacket, your own beverages and your best ideas. The Humbug will provide lunch. As usual this meeting will include planning for our Spring Doin's in Tehachapi so spread the word. If you are coming, do Timbo the courtesy of dropping him an email at Timbo@PeterLebeckECV.com, leaving him a post on Peter's Board, or just calling him at (714) 936-8650. Timbo hates to waste food.

Speaking of the Spring Doin's, we'll be headed for Tehachapi the weekend of April 23-25, for a Clampout at the nearby Visco Sports Center and a Sunday Plaquing in Downtown Tehachapi at Railroad Park which is at the corner of Tehachapi Boulevard and Green Street. We'll be guests of the City of Tehachapi which is very much looking forward to our erection.

So won't you please join us? Make sure to download the flyer, and check out the special pages we've put together to inform you about our doin's. Just click on the purple lightening banner above or the 2010 Spring Doin's link to get to the flyer page. And while you're there don't forget to click the tabs at the top of the page for more details. This year we even have a new electronic sign-up feature on the flyer page that will make for faster check-in at the gate. So why waste time later on when you can party, party, party, and spend more time catching-up with some of your bestest buds in all of Clamperdom?

Speaking of buds. We are great supporters of the Central Valley Tri-Chapter Doin's which is celebrating its twelfth edition this year. The Doin's will takes place the weekend of April 9-11, at Indian Rock near Fresno, and if you are interested in who among us is going, or would like to go yourself, make sure to check Peter's Board and click on All Things Clamp'sidered to read the Tri-Chapter thread. One thing we really like about this doin's is the "Beluga Brothers" event on Friday night. It's a fancy way of saying that dinner won't be provided, but if you pay five dollars and either bring or prepare a dish on the spot, you will become part of one of the most fattening pot lucks in all of Clamperdom, and one where guys try to outdo each other to impress their brothers. So click here to download their flyer and click here to open their webpage.

Now for scuttlebutt about our webpage updates and other cyber stuff of interest. Over the last few weeks we've been getting our house in order for the coming year, so, as you look around, you will see updates to pages like Peter's Procs, Our Humbugs' Page, Officers Page, doin's announcements and photo pages. Presently Vaquero is also pruning deadwood off of Peter's Board so things are starting to look rather spiffy around here. We've added a few more faces to the Mugz! Page, and have just posted photos from our recent appearance in the Whiskey Flats Days Parade up in Kernville, so check that out too.

And if you haven't visited or posted to Peter's Board lately we really encourage you to do so. The easy way to get there is to click on the scrolling marquee in the links box that reads, "This Way to Peter's Board." Then save the link as a favorite. It's a great way to keep in touch as whatever you post in the public areas can be seen by any Clamper visiting the board. Signing-up takes less than five minutes, and if you've forgotten your password just email "--MGM for a reset. Just make sure to tell us what name you've chosen for yourself on the board. Plus if you've been to one of our doin's we can probably set you up with an avatar as well (but it will have to be in RED not BLUE).

As you look around you'll likely notice some subtle changes to our graphics and some even bigger changes to our sound. If you had the sound off when you first opened this page then I'd encourage you to turn it on, refresh the page and take a listen. That's Timbo, our sonorous Humbug inviting you to our Spring Doin's among other things. You'll also discover an off button ( " | | ") underneath the Norton Day video where you usually find our flying jackass . . . and here's why.

It has been our goal over the last couple of years to make our site "cross browser compliant," meaning that whether you're using Internet Explorer, Firefox or some other program to search the web, the pages should always look and sound roughly the same. But quite often graphics that look quite orderly in one browser look like deck chairs on the Titanic in another. Entire sections of a page can go sliding to the edges, text that looked plenty bright and correctly sized in IE can display as faint or clownishly large in Firefox or Safari. And Sounds? Sometimes sound files won't play at all or a computer's volume settings become tweaked. Other times only some sound files will play but not others. And Safari is the worst of the bunch, throwing-up big error message windows when it can't digest sound instead of just keeping its fat browser mouth shut.

Then there is that stupid STOP button. All versions of Internet Explorer come with a stop button. Hit it and the little script we've been using to play sound would stop and the sound would shut off. Nice. Except other browsers don't come with a stop button. ARGGGH!

So long story short, while our pages - all 90 or so of them -- still display best in IE, if you are using another browser you'll find that our links and graphics are now more visible and aesthetically appealing. And all browser users will find more of our sound converted to streaming mp3's with scrubbable off and on switches embedded somewhere on their respective pages. So feel free to kill the sound or replay whatever pieces tickle your fancy.

So what browser is best for surfing the internet? Well at the very least it should be the latest version of what you are using now, and you have few excuses because these programs are free. Developers are always trying to make their browsers more secure and efficient, and the latest versions often come pre-loaded with the plug-ins you'll need to view the latest stupid web tricks. Plus keep in mind that the longer a browser version has been out there the more opportunity hackers have had to take the thing apart, so newer is always better, at least from a security standpoint. And if all the new bells and whistles bother you - and here I'm mostly referring to the latest version of Microsquish IE - ignore them. A browser is still a browser. Learn the new basic features, but skip things like "slices" unless you have a need for them.

Speaking of Microsquish, most people still use IE. I use it, but I also recognize that many of you won't. Some oppose it on principle, because they just don't want to give the beast the satisfaction. Others see it as a security issue because IE is always being probed by hackers for vulnerabilities, but let's not forget that even the security of Firefox has been recently questioned. So if you are a fan of Firefox, now is not the time to get smug. The truth is: If your browser is popular it's gunna be a hacker magnet.

All that said, if you want to try something other than IE, I'd recommend downloading the latest version of Google Chrome. Google seems to have something special here. In testing our web pages, Chrome loaded faster than any other browser including IE, and about twice as fast as Firefox. Chrome drew pages quickly, played old Java sound scripts that Firefox refused to play, and finished pages looked more like those of Firefox than IE, which ought to give you a good idea which browser Google think it is competing against.

Anyway those are my two cents. In the meantime enjoy the music, and I'll be typing at you again in a few days.

--MGM

Here's a quick update for Saturday's Whiskey Flat Days Parade in Kernville. According to Brother Dickhead Weather Central, "We should have a sunny weekend. Tomorrow, at parade time, it should be in the mid to high 50s. It will warm up to 63 later in the day. No sign of rain, snow, hurricanes, typhoons or other nasty stuff." Plus the ride up from any direction should be just as nice, though you are cautioned to watch for black ice as is common this time of year in places that are prone to it. Otherwise the freeways will be clear and all roads leading to Kernville will be open.

A last minute advisory from Doc: If you miss linking up with us at "The Hut," you will still be able to find us in the staging area if you get there early enough. Just go to the check-in table at the Chamber of Commerce which is on Sierra Way and right down the street from The Hut. Just ask them for our parade number and hurry on down to meet us. The parade kicks off at 11 sharp, and we have no way to know where we'll be in line until we get there.

For more information, including a map and directions, just keep reading, and see you there.

Before you read on to the latest CLOG Update, keep in mind that all Clampers and their Widders are invited to join us in Kernville on Saturday, February 13th, Presidents' Day Weekend, as PXL comes together to march in the Whiskey Flats Parade. That's the weekend after Super Bowl. This ia a great time to be had by all of us so read on. The details, including a map and direction are included in this update of the PXL CLOG so click here or read on! IMPORTANT: You must be at the staging area by 10:30 a.m. The Parade starts at 11:00 a.m. sharp. Dale will meet us at The Hut. See below for details.

Hello sports fans, and welcome back to the PXL Clog! As your coach, I've laid out an exciting five minutes worth of reading here, so adjust your specs, drop the chalupas and get ready for the rush. It's Super Bowl Week and the PXL Clog is once again on the air!

First of all we want to thank everybody who made it out to our Widders' Ball this past weekend. It was a most satisfactory outing, the attendance was great, the weather was mild and the camaraderie was excellent. To prove it, we've posted over 140 photos, many of them portraits of some of our favorite brothers and their significant Widders so head on over to Peter's Picture Pages when you get a moment and watch the slide show.

And for watching the slides here's a viewing tip for those of you using Internet Explorer 8. If you click on the little magnifying glass in the lower right hand corner, you can zoom in to make the slide show window fill most of the screen. After doing that the slide will look out of wack at first but you can easily fix that by right-clicking on the slide. When the menu appears, click on 'zoom in', then right-click again and click on 'zoom out'. The slide will now fill the marquee and you'll now get a much larger view of the whole show.

We want to congratulate our new Humbug, "Ptomaine Timbo" Gillespie on his ascesion to one of the most 'fun' jobs in the whole wide world, right up there with ball turret gunner and deposed Middle Eastern dictator. Sorry Timbo, we just filled in the last spider hole in Kern County and you'll have to supply your own Band-Aids, but we'll be there for you when you need us, and we'll be cheering you on.

On the flip side we also want to congratulate our outgoing Humbug and new Clampatriarch Dale "Doc" Charter, who made his escape at Saturday's Widders' Ball. In appreciation Doc gave each of his surviving officers a very nice personalized gift, and has promised to continue to support the chapter in whatever way he can which we know is no idle promise as he has already committed to coordinating our appearance at the Whiskey Flats Day Parade in Kernville during the upcoming Presidents' Day Weekend, and for which you will want to keep reading down the page, but first this.

As part of Doc's swan song, Doc changed several aspects of this year's Widders' Ball in hopes of establishing a couple of traditions that will make it a kinder and more genteel event as we go forward. For 2010 the women's costume event was separated into three categories - period, saloon and absurd - with the strutting, meat market approach to the ladies' contest going bye-bye but staying put for the more hearty hombres. Doc also established an award for "Noble Grand Widder," to recognize the woman whose work over the last year did the most to support the chapter and improve its reputation.

So without further adieu here are the winners! In the ladies competition, the Best Period Costume award went to Peggy Horn, beloved wife of our Brother Dennis "Hornhead" Horn. The Best Saloon Girl Costume award went to Jennifer Painter, a wise woman most firmly attached to our Brother Timbo Gillespie, our new PXL Humbug. And finally the Most Absurd Costume award went to Carol Davidson, who insists on hanging out with our up-to-no-good but much beloved brother and ECV Proctor, "Wild Bill" Davidson. Hope springs eternal they say, and Carol may yet succeed in making Bill a respectable guy - but we doubt it.

As for the men's competition, our winner was PXL Brother Jay Corlew, who was brought in by Doc this year at Havilah and is the owner of Silver City Ghost Town in Bodfish. Cheering him on was his wife Candy whom we hope will join us for the ladies' costume competition next time around. She was certainly all dressed up for the occasion and would have made a sparkling go of it.

Our congratulations also go out to, Jeannie Johnson, who was dubbed PXL's first annual "Noble Grand Widder," in recognition of her work on behalf of the chapter. For some time now Jeannie has been our liaison to the local battered women's shelter, helping PXL provide the women and children taking refuge there with toiletries, clothing and other hard to come by personal items. She has also decorated for more than one Widders' Ball, and, along with JoLinda Naucke, has hand crafted items that appeal to other Clamper wives and hawked them during Grand Council to raise money for our chapter. We also note that she has put up with our brother XNGH Don Johnson on a daily basis for almost too many years to count.

As for the actual ceremony, the whole thing caught Jeannie totally by surprise. Doc called her out of the audience, and she soon found herself kneeling on a milk crate (which hurt) and being dubbed on each shoulder with a broadsword (which didn't quite hurt so much). Charles Topping cast a special medallion celebrating Jeannie's status as PXL's first Noble Grand Widder, and it was presented to her along with flowers and a written commendation from the chapter. So thanks again Mrs. Johnson for your persistent efforts on our behalf.

Before moving on from the Widders' Ball, I have to acknowledge a mistake made in the original version of this post. In it I mentioned the donation of two fine antique women's hats which were auctioned off for the benefit of our chapter at the end of the evening's formalities. Well les chapeau were actually donated by Widder Karyl Ralles, who seems to insist on hanging out with our Brother Mikee Ralles just because they are husband and wife. Now we know Mike quite well, but since Karyl has known him longer we have to assume that she knows what she's doing. So our thanks go out to Karyl for her generosity and to our Brother Mike for his continuing support.

As originally stated our Brother "Wild Bill" Davidson did conduct the actual auction of these fine ladies' hats and we always appreciate Wild Bill's participation at our doin's. Bill is a current ECV Proctor and, though his native chapter is Jim Savage up in Fresno, he has been an important PXL booster over the years. He and his wife Carol are just as much an inseparable item as the Ralles, so please forgive my error in confusing my Karyls with my Carols. And don't forget that the next time you see either of these couples don't be shy about introducing yourself. They're family.

Whiskey Flat Days up in Kernville will be our next event and like the Widders' Ball this one is co-ed. So whether you come on up for the day or for the weekend, you and your widder are invited to join PXL as we march in Saturday's Whiskey Flats Parade for the third year in a row. Period dress is encouraged, especially for the ladies, so don your Clamper finery and come on down: That's Saturday, February 13th, Presidents' Day Weekend in Kernville.

Doc Charter and his widder Marti will be acting as hosts for this event. Doc will take care of checking us in for the parade which he'll do at 9:30 a.m., but we must be at the parade staging area by 10:30, as the parade starts at 11 a.m. sharp. For convenience sake Dale will gather us up at 10 a.m. at the Hut, which is a pub near the staging site, just don't count on eating there, though you can wet your whistle. While the Charters would love to have you come on up to their place before the parade, you need to be concerned about parking which can get rather scarce near the parade route. Whiskey Flat Days is one of the biggest seasonal events in Kern County, and as many as 50,000 people are expected in town for the weekend, so we encourage you to get there early or risk creating your own parade just getting to where we are supposed to meet up.

After the parade we'll gather at Doc and Marti's house for snacks and refreshments. They live about half a mile from the parade staging area at 16 Hillside Drive in Kernville. If you get lost feel free to call Doc on his cell at (760) 417-0599, just keep in mind that your own cell may not work in town particularly if you are a Verizon subscriber. If that is the case you'll have to scramble for a land line at one of the local pubs.

To get to the parade staging area from Lake Isabella just follow the one and only road into town. It becomes Burlando Road as you approach Kernville. Once in town this street will change names a couple of times but continue to follow it over the Kern River Bridge then park wherever you can find parking. The Hut will be on your right, two blocks past the bridge; and the staging area will be three blocks beyond that, where the road T-intersects with Sierra Way.

Doc's house is at the entrance to town. To get to Doc's place, make the first left just past Riverside Park as you are coming into Kernville. You'll literally be turning from Burlando Road onto Burlando Road. The fifth opportunity to turn left is Hillside Drive. The Charters live half a block up on the right at 16 Hillside Drive. See you there.

We are also proud to announce our Spring Doin's which will take place in Tehachapi the weekend of April 23-25, 2010. We'll be mounting an erection in downtown Tehachapi denoting the area's celebrated topography as well as the 100th Anniversary of the town's existence. So grab an extra blanket and come on up. We should have our usual set of background pages up soon. But until then you'll just have to be satisfied with downloading the flyer. Just click on the purple lighting banner ad above and the flyer can be yours for free. To go to the Tehachapi City website click on the train logo to your right.

We also want to remind you that our message board is open to any Clamper who cares to use it to post jokes, announcements and what nots. We even encourage other chapters to post their doin's announcements on our board so that everybody who cares to look can know what they are up to. Just click on the scrolling marquee in the links box on the left, or better yet, just bookmark this link, http://www.petersboard.peterlebeckecv.com.

On a personal note yours truly will be recording more than just cybers this year because I am also PXL's newly appointed Grand Noble Recorder. As such I'd like to try something different, and I am asking for volunteers to join a phone committee to help rouse the troops for the coming doin's and beyond. So if you are interested please drop me an email at mgm@PeterLebeckECV.com . You help will be greatly appreciated by everyone.

To check out the rest of our official line-up, go to our PXL Officers Page, where our contact information is always available. And please excuse the mess around here. WebPage maintenance takes time, and who has all the time in the world?

Lastly we hope you enjoy the Super Bowl on Sunday, and may the best team win. On an absurd note, I heard a guy named Don Steinberg on the radio yesterday who has a website where he is comparing presidents to Super Bowls by the numbers. You know 44 presidents, 44 Super Bowls, right?

Or as NPR put it, "For example, check out Game 16. Joe Montana may have led the 49ers to an exciting 26-21 victory over the Cincinnati Bengals. But, as Steinberg points out, "he didn't free the slaves." And while San Francisco's 20-0 halftime lead was the largest halftime shutout lead in Super Bowl history, "it didn't deliver The Gettysburg Address."

I guess we know who Steinburg thinks won that one. Anyway here is the link: http://americabowl.net. And just in case you can't hear the music I've been playing on the homepage this week in honor of Super Bowl XVIV, it is of course, one of my favorite football songs from 1933. Granted it isn't Cowboy music, though I think Tony Romo would argue with me on that one. Here's a YouTube Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vwUNaZLr8G8 But if you can hear the sound and want to shut it off, I've added a new control just beneath the flying jackass. Type at you next time.

--MGM